My Frustrations This Season

I am quite frustrated with myself recently. And this is the reason why.

Hebrews 5:12 (ESV) - For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food.

That is how I see my spiritual condition right now. When the pressure of life steps up, and things aren’t as smooth as they are supposed to be, my carnal mind swings between two opposite beliefs about God. Don’t I know better by now?

First, I start thinking that God does not care. Then the following verse comes to mind.

1 Peter 5:7 (ESV) - casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

Then I start thinking that God does care, but maybe he will let me flounder, or maybe even let my life crash, to teach me a lesson.

Psalm 55:22 (ESV) - Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.

The Hebrew word for ‘moved’ in the above passage, is mote’, which literally means ‘waver’. It can be translated as slip, shake or fall, or even fall into decay. So that verse in Psalms means that God will NOT let my life crash.

But what if it is my fault? And a cynical part of my mind says, “What do you mean, “what if”???” So does that mean I have to come before God again, casting my burdens and anxieties upon the LORD again, and he has to bail me out again? Doesn’t he ever get tired of me?

1 Peter 5:7 (ESV) - casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

No, he doesn’t get tired of me. He cares. He is happy to have me approach him, in fact, he longs for it earnestly.

Isaiah 30:18 (NIV) – Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!

If I know he cares, and I know that he WILL do something, that he WILL help, then what kind of attitude should I have towards approaching God?

Hebrews 4:16 (ESV) - Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Confidence? Boldness? When things are rough and I face the nagging suspicion that it is my fault?

Hebrews 4:14-15 (ESV) - Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.

So that is the cause of my inner turmoil, then. Somehow or other my vision has been taken off the Lord Jesus, the High Priest, the real reason for my confidence. And I need to get that fixed and settled, not just for the sake of getting the mercy and grace I need to make it through this season, but also to get that peace and assurance I need NOW.

OK, then I’d better get off the computer and back to the prayer room. Repentance isn’t always fun, but I think it’s worth it. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Do keep me in prayer, OK? I’ll post something here again when I have something edifying and encouraging to share. Be blessed!