Parenting and Teaching

It’s barely three months into the year and I’ve been so busy, it’s crazy…

You see, this year Jacques started attending primary school (compulsory education for children aged seven and above).  In Singapore, children will usually attend a kindergarten (half-day program) or childcare centre (full-day program) for 2-3 years before that, and that helps to prepare them for what the schools will teach at primary level.

Jacques was attending a kindergarten near my in-laws. After a whole year of crazy stories about the things the “teachers” there would make him do, I finally discover that his teachers taught him what he did NOT need to know, and not what he needed for primary school. I made this discovery at the end of last year, so I really had no time to repair the damage. Oh boy…

As a prominent Singaporean politician has said before, you pay peanuts, you’ll get monkeys. And with that Singaporean parents will immediately be able to figure out the kindergarten and the sheer irony of the situation!

Maybe it’s just a Singaporean thing. When I look at how much more work there is to do with Jacques to just get him to catch up and have SOME clue of what’s going on in school, it’s easy to just panic, freak out and try to cram everything into him at one go.

And this doesn’t happen only with parenting either. Sometimes as a music teacher I face the same situation with students about to take their music exams, but aren’t ready, or “musicians” who have to ready to play for a worship set by the weekend, but need another few more months of lessons and practice instead. It’s tempting to either give up or data dump on them everything they need to know. And if they can’t absorb or use whatever I teach that’s their problem!

But that is NOT how Jesus does things.

John 16:12-13 (NIV) - “I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear. But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.

We see from here that even Jesus, the Master Teacher, had a sense of pacing. And that pacing was based not only what his disciples needed to know (“much more to say to you”) but also what they were able to absorb (“more than you can now bear”). Because of those factors, he did the best he could do in the earthly time he had available, but also knew that the work had to be shared with others, in this case the Holy Spirit.

So if you are a parent or a teacher, or even the head of a ministry or church, this is an important lesson for us to learn too. In our teaching and leadership, we need to be aware of pacing, what is the best our children, students and followers can manage at that moment, and how to best work within those limits.

It’s difficult, because we are often pulled in two directions – the present or the future. If we are stuck in the present, we don’t strive for improvement. We just make do with how things are. The kid can’t manage his maths? Blame the teacher and complain to other parents. Your students can’t perform? Blame their previous teachers or label them as lazy. Your congregation doesn’t worship God the way the Bible wants them to? Just ignore it or gossip about it with other church members…

On the other hand, if we see the future but have no plan or vision of how to get there, we get frustrated and impatient. We pressurize and berate our kids, students and congregation. We try to guilt them into conforming to our expectations and lose patience with them if they do not immediately get what we want them to know or perform as we want them to.

This is a sure-fire way to burn out and wear out ourselves and the people around us!

Recognizing Good Teachers

How do you recognize good teachers? Knowing this will help you identify people you can entrust your children or congregation to, as well as give you insight into your own teaching ability. With such insight it’s easier to decide on what you may need to work on in order to get the results you need.

• Lowest Level Teaching – “You want this? Do that!”
  
• Low Level Teaching – “You want this? Do that, which is made up of A, B and C…”
  
• Mid-Level Teaching – “You want this? Do that, which is made up of A, B and C. Usually people do them in that order, but you may have to switch them around if you…”
  
• High-Level Teaching – “You want this? Do that, which is made up of A, B and C. I noticed you already have A, but you are very weak in C, you should spend more time on that for the moment…”
  
• Higher-Level Teaching - “You want this? Do that, which is made up of A, B and C. I noticed you already have A, but you are very weak in C, you should spend more time on that for the moment. Work especially on C1, C2 and C3…” And it can go on and on, depending on how deep is the subject and the specific needs of the student/child/congregation.

Of course, you won’t need the highest level of teaching for everything all the time. If you are naturally inclined towards a particular field, such as music, art or a language, lower level teaching may be all you need. But if you or your child has serious difficulty in something, or your congregation finds it hard to live the life of worship (or walk in divine healing, freedom from strife, etc), then you will need a teacher who is capable of higher level teaching.

And what if no one else is available?

Sometimes we find ourselves in a place when higher-level teaching is needed, but we are the only ones available. We don’t know how to get the people to where we want them to be, but we are stuck with the job and we can’t just hand it over to someone else. At that time, what can we do?

Pray.

Ask God, “What is the best thing I can do, say or teach for NOW?”

Sometimes, all God wants of us is to just manage the now. Jesus taught what he was supposed to teach, and then left the rest to the Holy Spirit. And sometimes, what little we can do may just be enough for God to accomplish what he wants to do.

John 6:9 (NIV) - "Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?"

The Bible records that the five loaves and two fishes worked well enough when entrusted to Jesus!

Conclusion:

I’ve always had a heart for teaching. It’s how God has wired me. But that doesn’t make it any easier to do things the right way when it’s my own son! So I pray that the insights from my own experiences will be helpful to you the next time you need to teach anyone something or make any decisions about getting teaching for yourself or others.

Be blessed!

The Missing Piece

(This is Part 03 of my story. If you missed it, you can read Part 01 and Part 02 now)

Back to the story…

So there I was in my Christian life, enjoying results and fruit in my worship ministry, knowing that as long as I can play the guitar I can successfully lead worship almost all the time. I had some interesting experiences because of that ability. There was once I visited a friend’s church’s prayer meeting and was asked to lead worship with just one song. OK, I took up the guitar, asked if they knew the only song I could think of (the group was almost entirely made up of strangers), and then not only led them in worship, but also flowed from there into prayer and intercession as well.

Hey, it was a prayer meeting, right?

But what was missing? Imparting that ability to others, so other people can successfully do what I do.

2 Timothy 2:2 (NIV) - And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others.

You see, I had invested hours and hours of time into my personal devotions, music practice and all that in order to do what I did. And that was fine when people are younger and have less demands on their time. Try telling a harried mother of 2-4 kids that in order to fulfill God’s calling upon her life she has to spend an hour a day on the Bible & prayer, and yet another on a musical instrument.

That’s NOT going to work!

So if I wanted to have people able to do what I did, I had to distill everything I did down to its barest form, the most essential elements. I had to show them principles that could guide their decisions and choices, and those principles had to work even without people having to put in the same kind of time and effort I had already put in.

Then One Fateful Day…

As I shared before in my book Invisible Worship Musician, I was engaged by a music school to teach a course on playing the piano for worship. It was during the lesson on playing intros for worship songs that I suddenly realized the purpose of worship music: to unify the praises of the people.

2 Chronicles 5:12-14 (NIV) - All the Levites who were musicians—Asaph, Heman, Jeduthun and their sons and relatives—stood on the east side of the altar, dressed in fine linen and playing cymbals, harps and lyres. They were accompanied by 120 priests sounding trumpets. The trumpeters and singers joined in unison, as with one voice, to give praise and thanks to the LORD. Accompanied by trumpets, cymbals and other instruments, they raised their voices in praise to the LORD and sang: “He is good; his love endures forever.” Then the temple of the LORD was filled with a cloud, and the priests could not perform their service because of the cloud, for the glory of the LORD filled the temple of God.

So I shared this passage with the very first class taking that very lesson. And from there I showed them how to create song intros that start to do exactly that. It worked very well for the class, they were happy that they got something simple that they could use after 3-4 lessons.

As for me, I continued to meditate on the implications of that very same passage for many years after that. It explained to me why what I did worked, and allowed me to give good reasons for why I would lead worship and play for worship the way I did.

If you do NOT have this understanding…

You end up with one of two extremes.

1)      You have people blindly copying EVERYTHING from someone who inspires them. At one point of time, as a certain Christian singer inspired many lady worship leaders in Singapore to dress, sing and pose in a certain way (one arm held out at a particular angle). Even though she was supposed to be a worship leader, she was more a lead singer, as she would sometimes pitch songs in keys 180 degrees away from what was suitable for a congregation. And she wasn’t good at leading the congregation…

I sometimes wonder if those Singaporean lady worship leaders ever caught on to the fact that what they were copying didn’t really help their church congregations in worship very much. If they did, did they ever figure out what went wrong? Or did they just blame their church congregations for being lukewarm?

2)      You have NO discipleship whatsoever. There may be one good worship leader in the church, someone who can make things work, but the other worship leaders want to do their own things in their own way. And those things and ways don’t work. After some time, some of the congregation may walk out or skip worship when they see who is scheduled to lead worship that day.

I’m not saying that is the right thing to do, but it is better than these people totally changing church because they are frustrated during your worship time, right? Of course, these days quite a number of believers don’t recognize well-led praise and worship because they have been misled into confusing a song-and-dance routine with true worship. If they leave your church because you are not giving them the show they want but what they really need (a genuine encounter with the living God) that’s understandable.

What is unacceptable is when you know you can give them the real deal but choose not to…

Conclusion:

I’ve now shared with you the core story, why I do and teach what I do. I hope that sharing my journey will help you understand me a little more, and maybe help you on your own journey also. Be blessed!

Quarrels Late At Night

(Personal Blog Post - modified from my Facebook post)

‎1.30 a.m., and there was loud quarreling from the void deck area below my flat.

In the past I would have been irritated, judgemental or amused. Now I find myself sad. Especially over the past 7 years or so I've learned firsthand what it is like to face provocation by a fool, what the Bible says is a heavier burden than stone or sand.

Proverbs 27:3 (NIV) - Stone is heavy and sand a burden, but provocation by a fool is heavier than both.

It is heartbreaking to realize that someone you geniunely want to resolve conflict with delights in prolonging the strife. You wonder why you hold back the insults and barbs while the other person doesn't, in fact, delights in giving you a double portion...

Psalm 120:6-7 (NIV) -  Too long have I lived among those who hate peace.
I am a man of peace; but when I speak, they are for war.

So now my heart goes out to those who have to live with contentious people in their lives, the agents of strife who delight in war when others desire peace. Is there a way out? The Bible says:

Psalm 37:37 (NIV) - Consider the blameless, observe the upright; there is a future for the man of peace.

God, bring me to that future you have prepared for me, and not me only, but also those who love peace!

The Turning Point

As I shared before, I served in the worship ministry before I had ever encountered God in worship. Or maybe I did, but thought that it was just the effect of really cool music. So coming from that perspective, I ended up assuming worship=music.

And that meant that getting better worship required getting better music. Whatever “better” means…

When I believed that, and didn’t have any conclusive encounter with God through worship, it led to two problems:

1. My own personal worship life was very weak. Why invest time in it if I believed I had to be in a large congregation with a hyper-cool band for it to work? Worship in your own personal prayer time does not always feel good immediately. If you don’t believe in it you will give up easily.
2. I became frustrated with small group worship sessions. I didn’t encounter God in worship there, so I didn’t believe it was possible. Looking back, I realize that it was because most of the worship leaders in the small groups I attended didn’t have enough understanding to stay on a good song long enough for the singing to be unified. A technical issue. And also, they would shy away from the presence of God and choke down everything before things got really intense. Probably a sin-consciousness issue.

But one day…

The leader of my worship team sat us down and said “We’re a worship band, so we’re going to worship God!” And he proceeded to lead us in a worship session that honestly felt like being brought to heaven and back. This session shattered all my wrong ideas just like that. It was a small group (5-6 people) and had simple music (one acoustic guitar). And I KNEW, deep in my heart, that I had just met God in worship.

And I was hooked. Totally hooked!

Not only that, I also wanted to share that same experience, encountering God in worship, with every believer I could. I became totally obsessed with worship and worship ministry; I kept bugging the band leader for his ideas, concepts and opinions.

Now he wasn’t that much of a teacher; he just kind of stumbled across what works, but he couldn’t really explain to me how or why it worked.  So I continued with the smartest thing I ever did: I copied him wholesale. He led worship on solo guitar and it worked, so I started learning how to play the guitar. He would use certain songs and lead them in a certain way, so I would work on the same songs and do them the same way.

And it worked for me too!

Of course there were refinements I needed to make along the way. Things like what key to pitch songs in, how to use music to properly support what I was doing, and nitty-gritty things like that. But I had already achieved what many other worship leaders I knew could only pray and dream about – consistent success in leading worship. I would be able to bring the worship as deep and as intense as it could go that session, and the worshippers would encounter God, be blessed by him and want to seek him in worship more and more.

So, is that it? Was that all? Did I live happily ever after, end of story? Not quite. There still remained one more important step to reach and milestone to achieve. But it’s getting really late for me now, so I’ll share with you the story next time. In the meantime, be blessed!

How I Started in Worship Ministry

I still remember how I got started in the worship ministry…

I received Jesus as my Lord and Savior when I was young (less than 12). Because I wasn’t attending church after that, my faith took a backseat to role-playing games and music. But there was always this nagging feeling at the back of my mind that God deserved a lot more seriousness than what I was showing him during those years. So when I finally had a chance to attend church services I jumped at the opportunity.

The pleasant surprise for me was discovering that church had music!

One thing about me, I’m quite capable of going on with something if I was convinced it was good for me. I didn’t need it to be entertaining, exciting or enjoyable, it just had to be meaningful. I was ready to not enjoy any aspect of the church experience but just keep turning up anyway.

So having enjoyable music at church was an unexpected benefit!

Because I didn’t know the songs, I couldn’t join in the singing. But I did appreciate the music. Unfortunately, that became my habit – paying more attention to the music than what people (and I) ought to be singing to the Lord. It’s not that I was a total reprobate during that season; I would seek God in prayer and in the Scriptures. And I would encounter him there.

But encountering God during the worship? No, it didn’t really happen.

And that meant that, if I was put in charge of a team of musicians at that time (I wasn’t, thank God!!), any decisions would be made based on what would sound good musically, rather than whether it would be spiritually pleasing to God or helpful to the congregation.

The Point of What I Am Saying…

… is that if your church has decent music, it’s quite likely that there are people like me in the congregation. And this means:

1. Your pastor may have to regularly preach and teach on encountering God in worship, yearly or half-yearly if your congregation has regular growth; AND 
2. People like me may apply to join your church worship team. And you have to start thinking and praying about how God wants you to handle such people.
   

Of course not every church musician is like how I was at that point of time when I first started serving in the worship ministry. Some knew God first, before they discovered their interest and talent for music. You may encounter different challenges with these people, compared to my sort.
Then again, I wasn’t exactly the most mature and easy-to-handle person in those days either!

So that was how I started serving in the worship ministry. I have another two major milestones to share, but those will have to wait for future emails and posts. So in the meantime, be blessed!

Arguing About Food

A few weekends back, I was stuck in an argument with a relative over food. She wanted to have dinner with me, but wanted more expensive food and wanted me to pay for it. She euphemistically called it ‘good’ food, but we all know what she meant, especially when she dismissed all of my suggestions that would have fitted nicely into my food budget.


When she saw that she wasn’t able to persuade me from my stand (sticking to a wise budget is a basic discipline I learned the hard way) she started arguing with me, insulting me over my earning capacity and how little I treasure the relationship as I am not willing to spend 3 meals’ budget (6 if you include her) on one meal with her.


Moments like this really reinforce to me the truth of the following Scriptures:

Proverbs 15:17 - Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred.


Proverbs 17:1 - Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife.

Why would Solomon even set up a contrast between a place of luxurious food and strife, and drab food with peace? I am not sure, but I believe it’s because there are times self-indulgent people, whose god is their stomach and glory is in their shame (Phi 3:19) would consider luxurious food more important than keeping peace.


I know, most of the time we can’t choose our relatives. So if we have relatives like that, God help us! But there are two things we CAN do to reduce your exposure to this type of idiotic situations.


1) Choose your spouse carefully

Proverbs 21:9 - Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.


Proverbs 21:19 - Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife

If you have a quarrelsome spouse (male or female), he or she can turn anything into an argument. And that includes food too. You’ll end up walking on eggshells all the time, wondering when is the next blow-up coming. And your kids will either grow up to be argumentative and aggressive, or they’ll become timid and easily bullied by the people of the world.


So for the sake of your own mental health and the health of your future children, don’t ever, ever marry such people!

Of course, if we are all charmed by our potential spouse during dating and courtship, we may not recognize the person’s true colours until too late. But here are two helpful tips. Watch how much they insist on their own way and no other. And watch how he or she reacts when unexpected snags crop up. If they take them well (and over a period of at least 6-12 months), you know you have someone who isn’t going to give you much problems in this area. Also, someone who can take unexpected snags in his or her stride is the sort of person who can keep his or her presence of mind while parenting. Good thing to watch out for if you ever want to raise a family.

(And if you know the quarrelsome one is you, repent! Quick!)

2) Train your children well.

Proverbs 22:6 (NIV) - Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

We have to impart discipline and wisdom to our children and teach them God’s priorities. In this case this means making sure they are not ruled by their appetites but know how to keep their stomachs from wrecking havoc over their lives.


Besides teaching them the Word of God (all those above passages from Proverbs are a good start), we also need to teach them appreciate healthy food. Plain water is great, fresh fruits are fantastic and there is a joy in eating natural, unprocessed food.


We also need to keep our children from being addicted to processed and unnatural food such as white sugar, MSG and all that kind of stuff. Why? Because an addict isn’t able to think straight about food and nutrition. Their cravings will drive them to seek their own way regardless of the people around them. And that may lead to arguments and strife later on in their lives when they grow older.


Here’s the uncomfortable part: what example are YOU setting? Are you gulping down junk food yourself? Or can you say you set your children an admirable example in your food choices, attitudes and discipline? And again, are YOU the argumentative one?


For the relative I mentioned earlier, her parents were quite disciplined in avoiding junk food, but they were sometimes harsh and abrasive. That example was a hard one for her to shake off, and other people suffer for it. Including me…


Conclusion:


This is not a typical worship ministry post from me, I know. But it will be useful to those of us who are still single (so we know what to look out for when we are dating) and married with children (so we teach our children right). So do share it with people you think would appreciate it. Thanks!

Prosperity - The Challenge

This passage has been on my heart recently.

Psalm 118:22-26 (NKJV) – The stone which the builders rejected
has become the chief cornerstone.
This was the LORD’s doing; It is marvelous in our eyes.
This is the day the LORD has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.
Save now, I pray, O LORD; O LORD, I pray, send now prosperity.
Blessed is he who comes in the name of the LORD!
We have blessed you from the house of the LORD.

The Hebrew word for prosperity in this passage is Tsalach (Strongs #06743). It has a wide range of meaning, including to advance, prosper, to make successful and profitable. In fact, the NIV translates verse 25 as “grant us success”. In this passage we see that the Scripture exhorts us to pray to God for prosperity and success in our undertakings.

In my own Christian life I have swung between extremes. Sometimes I have been the typical Word-of-Faith person, declaring by faith success in everything. Sometimes I have been more passive, just getting along with my activities and trusting God to prosper whatever he chose to. This isn’t wrong, by the way, we see this kind of attitude displayed in Ecclesiastes 11:6.

But this season, I’ve gone back to plain old asking. God, prosper the work of my hands, and grant me success! Driving this consistent prayer are two realizations:

1) We cannot afford to NOT prosper

When can you afford to not prosper? I cannot imagine. If you are a parent, prosperity means raising your children well. If you are a pastor, prosperity means taking good care of the congregation God has entrusted to your care. If you are a doctor, prosperity means your patients get better, not worse. If you are an employee, prosperity means you succeed at the tasks entrusted to you. If you are a worship minister, prosperity means you led the people into a powerful and life-changing encounter with the God of the universe, instead of wasting the time and the opportunity.

So when can you afford not to prosper? If your life is meaningfully occupied, you have no room in your life for not prospering!

2) We are called to prosper

New Testament believers are called to a priestly ministry…

1 Peter 2:9 (NKJV) - But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.

… and the priestly tribe, Levi, had a special calling to prosperity and success. We see that from the blessing Moses spoke over Levi.
If we take this prayer and apply it to our New Testament priesthood, it tells us that we are to pray that our skills (work, music or others) be blessed (successful) and that our works are pleasing to the LORD. We are called to prosper, but we have the obligation to seek God for it.

Deuteronomy 33:11 (NIV) – “Bless all his skills, O LORD, and be pleased with the work of his hands. Smite the loins of those who rise up against him; strike his foes till they rise no more.”

And how will we know if we have it?

Consider the example of Joseph in Genesis 39.

Genesis 39:2-5 (NIV) - The LORD was with Joseph and he prospered, and he lived in the house of his Egyptian master. When his master saw that the LORD was with him and that the LORD gave him success in everything he did, Joseph found favor in his eyes and became his attendant. Potiphar put him in charge of his household, and he entrusted to his care everything he owned. From the time he put him in charge of his household and of all that he owned, the LORD blessed the household of the Egyptian because of Joseph. The blessing of the LORD was on everything Potiphar had, both in the house and in the field.

In the above passage, both “prospered” and “success” are the same Hebrew word, Tsalach, again. God’s prosperity leads to blessings with tangible evidence in our work, ministry and family. If we are truly walking in the prosperity of God, the people of the world can tell. It’s as obvious to them as it was to Potiphar in Joseph’s time.

Are you feeling uncomfortable yet? I am. I know that my life isn’t anywhere near that standard yet. And if God wants me to prosper in all to which I set my hand, and there is a spiritual calling upon my life for success, then it’s MY responsibility if it’s not happening. It’s MY responsibility to seek God for wisdom and direction, and then to take action as he directs.

And that is why praying for success is so important. Praying means an active communication and communion with God. When I pray, rather than just speak the success over my life or let God prosper whichever area he chooses to, I am putting myself in a position and frame of mind to hear God on the areas of my life he wants me to work on, to see the results he wants me to have.

Conclusion:

Of course there is a lot more to Biblical prosperity than just asking God for it. There is the meditation on the Word of God (Joshua 1:8, Psalm 1:3), the presence of God (Genesis 39:2), seeking the LORD (2 Chronicles 26:5) and other areas I probably haven’t realized yet. But I share this with you first to invite you to join me on this journey. Let’s grow in wisdom and understanding in the prosperity God desires for us, shall we?

Behind The Pastor's Back

As you probably know, I serve at a few churches during the week. Just yesterday, as I was running errands, I met someone who regularly attends one of those services I serve at. It was an interesting conversation, because he basically wanted me to change my style of playing.

Him: "the way you play when Pastor leads the people in prayer after preaching, very stagnant. No flow. You must flow…"

Under other circumstances I would have asked him what he meant by flow. After all, it could refer to a musical flow (which I know I have) or a spiritual flow (which I believe I have). However, I felt there was no need to find out more, because I wasn’t going to change my style of playing.

Me: "I'm playing the way Pastor wants me to play. He told me to play this way, so that is how I am going to play."

Him: "I've known Pastor for a long time already. And I've been playing for 40 years. I went to Berklee (a famous college for contemporary and jazz music). You cannot play like that, you must flow…"

By now I suspected that he meant to play more spontaneously, to use Pastor's exhortation time as an opportunity to display whatever musical chops I have. Whatever he meant didn't really matter, because I already had instructions from the Pastor. And I'm not going to change stuff like that without checking with the Pastor first.

But why would I need to check with the Pastor anyway? He's got a lot on his plate, and he already has the habit of telling me whatever he wanted me to know. Bugging him about trivia like that is implying his instructions weren't clear enough, or that he didn't know what he was doing. No thanks!

So I took the easy way out.

Me: "Since you say you have known Pastor for some time, how about YOU talk to him about it? I'll just do what he tells me…"

Him: "Cannot, he's not a musician so he won't know. You must change it yourself."

Err, wait a minute. He's not a musician, but he has been in ministry even longer than I have. Am I to believe that during all that time, having ministered in many different churches around the world, he hasn't come across different styles of music and he doesn't know what type works best for him?

He could see I was not convinced.

Him: "Do you know (mega-church A) and (mega-church B)? I trained their musicians. You think I can only play one instrument? I can play more than one instrument! When I tell the chief musician (of the church I am serving at) to flow, he does it. Even the other guy, who played for the service when you were not there, flows better than you…"

I haven't listened to the worship team from mega-church B, but I did know that mega-church A had a team of immature musicians, who were professional only in the sense that they were being paid, not in terms of their musicality. Those musicians tended to overplay and get in each other's way, and overall the sound would be too cluttered to let the congregation sing their hearts out. So the congregation would spend most of the worship time standing there and watching the show up on the stage.

You can guess that I was less than impressed by his name dropping. I wanted to tell him "So it's YOUR fault that band is so lousy? No wonder…" but I knew God wouldn't approve of me being THAT direct. So I switched back to my one and only argument.

Me: "OK, so if Pastor thinks the other guy is better, then he can tell me to play like him. So far, Pastor hasn't told me to play like him, so…"

Him: "They can flow. Why can't you? No wonder your playing is so stagnant."

Me:"I've played other ways before, and Pastor has told me he wants it this way, so I am going to play it this way."

Him: "He's not a musician, he won't know. You must change, you must flow, then he will come and tell you that you are correct."

OK, this was going too far. One problem that has plagued many charismatic churches – some people think they hear from God better than the pastor does, and they don't want to discuss things with the pastor first. They deliberately choose to ignore or disobey the pastor's instructions on a specific matter. Those people then expect God to vindicate their disobedience by blessing them with obviously supernatural fruit, so the pastor has to swallow his pride and admit they were right all along.   

Hear this from me – no good will ever come out of doing this. Either get the agreement of your church pastor, submit to his instructions or leave to find another church. By this time I already realized that this person was NOT worth listening to. He may have music knowledge, but his understanding of the things of God was very lacking.

So I brought up the only topic that seemed to bug him, the pastor.

Me: "How about this? How about YOU play, then we let Pastor decide?"

He didn't like that, so he changed the topic.

Him: "Why, when you play, you don't play there and there (indicating the higher and lower parts of the keyboard), you only play here (indicating the middle)? I might as well chop off the top and bottom parts!"

God is my witness, he was THAT inane, thinking that playing solo piano accompaniment for worship was to be done the same way as playing for some show at Berklee. If other Berklee grads are like him, Berklee ought to get me to teach Musicianship 101. The fellow went back to his mantra of the day.

Him: "You must flow!"

Me: "You can flow?"

Him: "Of course!"

Me: "OK, then you play and show Pastor. We let him decide, OK?"

I guess he really had no answer, so he started getting personal.

Him: "I can flow, but can you follow it or not? Your playing is like sleeping! You ought to humble yourself. Other people can follow what I tell them, why not you?"

Me: "OK, then you play and we let Pastor decide, OK?"

By this time I guess he had enough. So he walked off. I wasn't too smart yesterday morning, it took me so long to figure out how to drive him away – keeping mentioning the Pastor! It was like showing a cross to a vampire, it might take a while but it will work in the end. Now I know what to say to him the next time we meet at the service…

The Point Is…

As you can tell from my previous posts, I can be very dogmatic. When I have the authority to tell musicians what to do, I fully expect them to follow my instructions. I don't want them changing things behind my back or without checking with me first.

And because I believe in treating people the same way I want to be treated (Matt 7:12), this is also how I follow instructions from my leaders as well. Don't expect me to try out suggestions and ideas from other people without checking with my church leaders first.

If you find yourself in the same place I was, with someone trying his or her best to get you to disobey clear instructions from your church leader or pastor, you may also find it helpful to do what I did – suggest that THEY themselves go discuss with the pastor or leader themselves. If they are sincere and have nothing to hide, they would be more than happy to.

But if the suggestion only seems to frustrate them into insulting you or arguing with you, you know they have an agenda and something to hide. Don't let yourself be manipulated by such people, OK?

Be blessed!