Faith for My Children

I haven’t been posting here for a long time. Life has been a relentless flood, problems with work, all the hassle and things that need to be worked out for changing work, and my sons’ exams. The added pressure has been testing my faith, for sure!

One day, I realized why I was so uptight, unhappy, worried and fearful: I did not really believe, deep in my heart, that God’s goodness goes beyond me and extends to my children. Now once I figured that out, the next step was to study the Scriptures to see what God has to say about it.

Psalm 100:4-5 (NIV84) - Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.

This was the passage that got me started nearly 20 years ago, when I wanted to let the Bible teach me about worship. And it promises that God’s faithfulness continues through all generations. Does that include my children? The problem is that “generations” is too wide a scope for me. It makes me imagine hordes and hordes of people, but not MY kids (which is what I am really concerned about, right?).

Genesis 26:4-5 (NKJV) - And I will make your descendants multiply as the stars of heaven; I will give to your descendants all these lands; and in your seed all the nations of the earth shall be blessed;  because Abraham obeyed My voice and kept My charge, My commandments, My statutes, and My laws.

God appeared to Isaac and made the above promise, that he would be blessed, and that it was because of his father Abraham. Don’t let yourself be intimidated by the part “… kept my charge, my commandments, my statutes and my laws.” I know it sounded like Abraham fulfilled all the commands in Exodus, Numbers, Leviticus and Deuteronomy, but the fact is, God did NOT speak all those to Abraham. Study what God commanded Abraham to do, and you will realize it is a lot simpler than what most of us expect!

But all that is Abraham and Isaac. How about us? 

Proverbs 14:26 (NIV84) - He who fears the LORD has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge.

Me fearing the LORD will be a refuge for my children. There are many things that the Bible defines as fearing the LORD, but they have something in common: they are a refuge for my children. That means they help protect them and shelter them in days that are increasingly dangerous and treacherous for all who want to live godly lives unto the LORD.

So what am I do to? What is my part in all this?

Ephesians 6:4 (NIV 84) - Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

David gives a guideline to what that means to me as a father.

Psalm 34:11-14 (NKJV) - Come, you children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the Lord.

Who is the man who desires life, and loves many days, that he may see good?
Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking deceit.
Depart from evil and do good; Seek peace and pursue it.

And as I labour in that (parenting IS hard work, don’t let anyone convince you otherwise), I need a vision of my goal. “Begin with the end in mind” is the management mantra that really applies here. What is the end I desire to see for my sons?

Isaiah 44:1-5 (NKJV) - “Yet hear now, O Jacob My servant, and Israel whom I have chosen.

Thus says the Lord who made you and formed you from the womb, who will help you:

‘Fear not, O Jacob My servant; and you, Jeshurun, whom I have chosen.
For I will pour water on him who is thirsty, and floods on the dry ground;
I will pour My Spirit on your descendants, and My blessing on your offspring;
They will spring up among the grass like willows by the watercourses.’
One will say, ‘I am the Lord’s’; another will call himself by the name of Jacob;
Another will write with his hand, ‘The Lord’s,’ and name himself by the name of Israel.

My sons are to see themselves as devoted to the LORD, in both senses of the word: I have devoted them to the LORD and their lives are given over to his loving hands, and they are to love the LORD themselves, out of their own will, and be loyal to him. And God himself promises to be devoted to them, to teach them himself.

Isaiah 54:13 (NKJV) - All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children.

Conclusion:

Faith, confidence and assurance are to be based on God’s word. Now that I have received light on the matter, I have to keep the above Scriptures in front of my eyes (keep reading and re-reading them) and in my heart (keep thinking about them) until they bring me the life God promised (Proverbs 4:21-22). And if you are a parent, I hope this post will encourage your heart and strengthen your resolve to raise children glorifying the LORD. Be blessed!

Parenting and Teaching

It’s barely three months into the year and I’ve been so busy, it’s crazy…

You see, this year Jacques started attending primary school (compulsory education for children aged seven and above).  In Singapore, children will usually attend a kindergarten (half-day program) or childcare centre (full-day program) for 2-3 years before that, and that helps to prepare them for what the schools will teach at primary level.

Jacques was attending a kindergarten near my in-laws. After a whole year of crazy stories about the things the “teachers” there would make him do, I finally discover that his teachers taught him what he did NOT need to know, and not what he needed for primary school. I made this discovery at the end of last year, so I really had no time to repair the damage. Oh boy…

As a prominent Singaporean politician has said before, you pay peanuts, you’ll get monkeys. And with that Singaporean parents will immediately be able to figure out the kindergarten and the sheer irony of the situation!

Maybe it’s just a Singaporean thing. When I look at how much more work there is to do with Jacques to just get him to catch up and have SOME clue of what’s going on in school, it’s easy to just panic, freak out and try to cram everything into him at one go.

And this doesn’t happen only with parenting either. Sometimes as a music teacher I face the same situation with students about to take their music exams, but aren’t ready, or “musicians” who have to ready to play for a worship set by the weekend, but need another few more months of lessons and practice instead. It’s tempting to either give up or data dump on them everything they need to know. And if they can’t absorb or use whatever I teach that’s their problem!

But that is NOT how Jesus does things.

John 16:12-13 (NIV) - “I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear. But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.

We see from here that even Jesus, the Master Teacher, had a sense of pacing. And that pacing was based not only what his disciples needed to know (“much more to say to you”) but also what they were able to absorb (“more than you can now bear”). Because of those factors, he did the best he could do in the earthly time he had available, but also knew that the work had to be shared with others, in this case the Holy Spirit.

So if you are a parent or a teacher, or even the head of a ministry or church, this is an important lesson for us to learn too. In our teaching and leadership, we need to be aware of pacing, what is the best our children, students and followers can manage at that moment, and how to best work within those limits.

It’s difficult, because we are often pulled in two directions – the present or the future. If we are stuck in the present, we don’t strive for improvement. We just make do with how things are. The kid can’t manage his maths? Blame the teacher and complain to other parents. Your students can’t perform? Blame their previous teachers or label them as lazy. Your congregation doesn’t worship God the way the Bible wants them to? Just ignore it or gossip about it with other church members…

On the other hand, if we see the future but have no plan or vision of how to get there, we get frustrated and impatient. We pressurize and berate our kids, students and congregation. We try to guilt them into conforming to our expectations and lose patience with them if they do not immediately get what we want them to know or perform as we want them to.

This is a sure-fire way to burn out and wear out ourselves and the people around us!

Recognizing Good Teachers

How do you recognize good teachers? Knowing this will help you identify people you can entrust your children or congregation to, as well as give you insight into your own teaching ability. With such insight it’s easier to decide on what you may need to work on in order to get the results you need.

• Lowest Level Teaching – “You want this? Do that!”
  
• Low Level Teaching – “You want this? Do that, which is made up of A, B and C…”
  
• Mid-Level Teaching – “You want this? Do that, which is made up of A, B and C. Usually people do them in that order, but you may have to switch them around if you…”
  
• High-Level Teaching – “You want this? Do that, which is made up of A, B and C. I noticed you already have A, but you are very weak in C, you should spend more time on that for the moment…”
  
• Higher-Level Teaching - “You want this? Do that, which is made up of A, B and C. I noticed you already have A, but you are very weak in C, you should spend more time on that for the moment. Work especially on C1, C2 and C3…” And it can go on and on, depending on how deep is the subject and the specific needs of the student/child/congregation.

Of course, you won’t need the highest level of teaching for everything all the time. If you are naturally inclined towards a particular field, such as music, art or a language, lower level teaching may be all you need. But if you or your child has serious difficulty in something, or your congregation finds it hard to live the life of worship (or walk in divine healing, freedom from strife, etc), then you will need a teacher who is capable of higher level teaching.

And what if no one else is available?

Sometimes we find ourselves in a place when higher-level teaching is needed, but we are the only ones available. We don’t know how to get the people to where we want them to be, but we are stuck with the job and we can’t just hand it over to someone else. At that time, what can we do?

Pray.

Ask God, “What is the best thing I can do, say or teach for NOW?”

Sometimes, all God wants of us is to just manage the now. Jesus taught what he was supposed to teach, and then left the rest to the Holy Spirit. And sometimes, what little we can do may just be enough for God to accomplish what he wants to do.

John 6:9 (NIV) - "Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?"

The Bible records that the five loaves and two fishes worked well enough when entrusted to Jesus!

Conclusion:

I’ve always had a heart for teaching. It’s how God has wired me. But that doesn’t make it any easier to do things the right way when it’s my own son! So I pray that the insights from my own experiences will be helpful to you the next time you need to teach anyone something or make any decisions about getting teaching for yourself or others.

Be blessed!

Arguing About Food

A few weekends back, I was stuck in an argument with a relative over food. She wanted to have dinner with me, but wanted more expensive food and wanted me to pay for it. She euphemistically called it ‘good’ food, but we all know what she meant, especially when she dismissed all of my suggestions that would have fitted nicely into my food budget.


When she saw that she wasn’t able to persuade me from my stand (sticking to a wise budget is a basic discipline I learned the hard way) she started arguing with me, insulting me over my earning capacity and how little I treasure the relationship as I am not willing to spend 3 meals’ budget (6 if you include her) on one meal with her.


Moments like this really reinforce to me the truth of the following Scriptures:

Proverbs 15:17 - Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred.


Proverbs 17:1 - Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife.

Why would Solomon even set up a contrast between a place of luxurious food and strife, and drab food with peace? I am not sure, but I believe it’s because there are times self-indulgent people, whose god is their stomach and glory is in their shame (Phi 3:19) would consider luxurious food more important than keeping peace.


I know, most of the time we can’t choose our relatives. So if we have relatives like that, God help us! But there are two things we CAN do to reduce your exposure to this type of idiotic situations.


1) Choose your spouse carefully

Proverbs 21:9 - Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.


Proverbs 21:19 - Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife

If you have a quarrelsome spouse (male or female), he or she can turn anything into an argument. And that includes food too. You’ll end up walking on eggshells all the time, wondering when is the next blow-up coming. And your kids will either grow up to be argumentative and aggressive, or they’ll become timid and easily bullied by the people of the world.


So for the sake of your own mental health and the health of your future children, don’t ever, ever marry such people!

Of course, if we are all charmed by our potential spouse during dating and courtship, we may not recognize the person’s true colours until too late. But here are two helpful tips. Watch how much they insist on their own way and no other. And watch how he or she reacts when unexpected snags crop up. If they take them well (and over a period of at least 6-12 months), you know you have someone who isn’t going to give you much problems in this area. Also, someone who can take unexpected snags in his or her stride is the sort of person who can keep his or her presence of mind while parenting. Good thing to watch out for if you ever want to raise a family.

(And if you know the quarrelsome one is you, repent! Quick!)

2) Train your children well.

Proverbs 22:6 (NIV) - Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

We have to impart discipline and wisdom to our children and teach them God’s priorities. In this case this means making sure they are not ruled by their appetites but know how to keep their stomachs from wrecking havoc over their lives.


Besides teaching them the Word of God (all those above passages from Proverbs are a good start), we also need to teach them appreciate healthy food. Plain water is great, fresh fruits are fantastic and there is a joy in eating natural, unprocessed food.


We also need to keep our children from being addicted to processed and unnatural food such as white sugar, MSG and all that kind of stuff. Why? Because an addict isn’t able to think straight about food and nutrition. Their cravings will drive them to seek their own way regardless of the people around them. And that may lead to arguments and strife later on in their lives when they grow older.


Here’s the uncomfortable part: what example are YOU setting? Are you gulping down junk food yourself? Or can you say you set your children an admirable example in your food choices, attitudes and discipline? And again, are YOU the argumentative one?


For the relative I mentioned earlier, her parents were quite disciplined in avoiding junk food, but they were sometimes harsh and abrasive. That example was a hard one for her to shake off, and other people suffer for it. Including me…


Conclusion:


This is not a typical worship ministry post from me, I know. But it will be useful to those of us who are still single (so we know what to look out for when we are dating) and married with children (so we teach our children right). So do share it with people you think would appreciate it. Thanks!

From Father to Son

A short time back, I found an old CD of an audio recording of Bible verses I did for Jess. In those days Jess was just an infant, and I wanted him to hear over and over again the Word of God. So I just got down to it, did a few simple home-made recordings and kept having that CD played when I wasn't around to read the Bible to him.

Well, Jess grew and I started spending more time with him to read to him. And other things came along, and I misplaced my final copy of those recordings. But I finally found my last CD, put the tracks on my phone, started listening to it every day ever since, and found that it built MY faith too!

So here is one of the tracks, From Father to Son. It's a short (less than 7 minutes) recording of selected verses from Proverbs. You can just download it as a gift from here.

Yup, it's a gift. You don't have to buy my e-book, make a special donation, refer customers to me or whatever. Just go to this page and download it. And let your Christian friends know of it too, so they can get it and be blessed as well. It's especially great for parents with sons that they want to raise as godly children, but I sincerely believe anyone will be blessed if they get it and keep listening to it everyday for a couple of weeks.

Remember, it's a home-made recording. And when I say home-made, I really mean home-made. The sound quality isn't going to be fantastic, the music isn't going to inspiring, my voice isn't going to be EQ-ed properly and all that. But it blessed Jessiah and I, so I share it with you also.

If it blesses you too, do let me know. Leave a comment or something like that on this blog page. Thanks!