What Upset Jessiah

Jessiah was totally pissed off last night.

After I got home from teaching, he showed me this flyer that said:

"Enhancing your learning journey with iPad!"

"With the convenience of having study notes in an iPad, learning capabilities and potential are maximized, thus benefitting the student."

"You are entitled to a FREE iPad2 if you are:

• Primary, Secondary, Junior College students
• Valid Student Pass"

And of course, in a very much smaller font, in one unobtrusive corner of the page, "Terms and Conditions apply"

Being an innocent 9-year-old, he of course thought they were really giving away iPads just like that. I flipped over to the other side of the flyer showed him how it was a marketing ploy to get walk-ins for a tuition centre. I also took him through the figures, what it would look like if the centre gave iPads to EVERY student that signed up. And if it didn't make much sense for them to give iPads to EVERY student that they signed up, would they give iPads to those who did not sign up for lessons there?

As I said, Jessiah was very upset. He thought the centre was lying on the flyer, trying to cheat innocent little 9-year-olds like him. I definitely don't want him to always assume the worst of other people, so I told him that maybe the people who wrote this were just lousy communicators and didn't mean to create misunderstanding.

I mean, look at their choice of words. The grammar is quite shaky and the words were bigger than they needed to be (capabilities, potential, maximized – typically corporate-speak. God knows, I detest corporate-speak).

But certainly, if any of my children needed tuition for their school work, that centre would be the LAST place I send my kids to. Either they were being untruthful or they are lousy communicators. And if they can't even communicate well on a flyer, what makes me think they can teach my kids anything properly?

Why was Jessiah so upset?

You see, in his mind the iPad was already his. He already planned the first download, (Angry Birds of course) and had already planned how to get me to pay for the rest of the games he wanted. He already had visions of quietly sitting one corner for hours every day, smashing through the various levels with aplomb, and of course scoring even higher than me.

So the truth ruined all his dreams and plans!

Out in the Business World

For us who are out in the business world, sometimes there are people who try to pull a fast one over us during negotiations. Let's say we agree to a deal (business or job, for example) that had A, B and C. And at the last minute, they try to change point C just after you and they have already agreed to the entire deal.

If at that time you have already started thinking the deal or the job is yours, started planning how to spend the commission or salary, or even worse, started borrowing money expecting to repay the loan with the money you were certain you were going to get, you'll be in deep trouble. Why? Because you would be emotionally attached to making the deal or job work, even though they just changed point C on you. You'll feel pressurized to give in on point C so that the deal would work. At that time, you will find it difficult to step back from your emotions, the turmoil and fear of loss, and ask yourself if the deal or job is still worth it even without point C.

That is what those negotiators are counting on when they make those last minute changes. That's what they are hoping for!

Two very important precautions:

1) Remember, it's not yours until it's yours.

Until everything is signed and the cheque is in your hand (or the money already in your bank account), the deal isn't through yet. Until that point, something can still go wrong, so don't get emotionally attached to the deal or job yet.

2) Always have options.

If you are stuck, and think that this deal or job is ONLY way to go, you will feel pressured to accepting it anyway, even if point C was VERY important to you. That is the reason why you need clear options. If this deal doesn't work, exactly what will you do next to get another? What is the next job offer you have waiting for you?

When you have options, such negotiators are unable to pull a fast one over you with these cheap tactics.

The best example of having options is Billy Graham Ministries, As I said before, they pay their suppliers promptly (sometimes on the very day). Because of that they have many suppliers offering them the best deals. Those who try to cheat them get away with it ONCE. And they never get a foot at the door again, because of the hordes of other suppliers waiting for a chance.

Always seek to create more definite options for yourself. This will allow you to step back when there are any last minute hiccups.

Are ALL last minute changes attempts to cheat you?

Of course not!

Just keep an eye open during the negotiations. For example, if point C is important to you and the other side agreed to it quickly (too easily???), don't be surprised if they try to change point C later. People with a lot of experience in using this tactic may try to throw in some other hiccup first (maybe some last minute delay) then try to change point C after that. And without offering anything else in exchange.

How will you respond to this? That's between you and God. Will you decide the deal is still worth it? Will you create a better counter-offer? Go the extra mile? Walk away and decide there's no point doing business with people who cannot be trusted? That's up to you to decide. But in order to decide with clarity and wisdom, you need to be emotionally calm and know what your back-up options are. That way such negotiators will not be able to take advantage of you.

Think about this for a while, as I try to figure out how to teach such things to my sons without turning them into total cynics. Be blessed!