What Upset Jessiah

Jessiah was totally pissed off last night.

After I got home from teaching, he showed me this flyer that said:

"Enhancing your learning journey with iPad!"

"With the convenience of having study notes in an iPad, learning capabilities and potential are maximized, thus benefitting the student."

"You are entitled to a FREE iPad2 if you are:

• Primary, Secondary, Junior College students
• Valid Student Pass"

And of course, in a very much smaller font, in one unobtrusive corner of the page, "Terms and Conditions apply"

Being an innocent 9-year-old, he of course thought they were really giving away iPads just like that. I flipped over to the other side of the flyer showed him how it was a marketing ploy to get walk-ins for a tuition centre. I also took him through the figures, what it would look like if the centre gave iPads to EVERY student that signed up. And if it didn't make much sense for them to give iPads to EVERY student that they signed up, would they give iPads to those who did not sign up for lessons there?

As I said, Jessiah was very upset. He thought the centre was lying on the flyer, trying to cheat innocent little 9-year-olds like him. I definitely don't want him to always assume the worst of other people, so I told him that maybe the people who wrote this were just lousy communicators and didn't mean to create misunderstanding.

I mean, look at their choice of words. The grammar is quite shaky and the words were bigger than they needed to be (capabilities, potential, maximized – typically corporate-speak. God knows, I detest corporate-speak).

But certainly, if any of my children needed tuition for their school work, that centre would be the LAST place I send my kids to. Either they were being untruthful or they are lousy communicators. And if they can't even communicate well on a flyer, what makes me think they can teach my kids anything properly?

Why was Jessiah so upset?

You see, in his mind the iPad was already his. He already planned the first download, (Angry Birds of course) and had already planned how to get me to pay for the rest of the games he wanted. He already had visions of quietly sitting one corner for hours every day, smashing through the various levels with aplomb, and of course scoring even higher than me.

So the truth ruined all his dreams and plans!

Out in the Business World

For us who are out in the business world, sometimes there are people who try to pull a fast one over us during negotiations. Let's say we agree to a deal (business or job, for example) that had A, B and C. And at the last minute, they try to change point C just after you and they have already agreed to the entire deal.

If at that time you have already started thinking the deal or the job is yours, started planning how to spend the commission or salary, or even worse, started borrowing money expecting to repay the loan with the money you were certain you were going to get, you'll be in deep trouble. Why? Because you would be emotionally attached to making the deal or job work, even though they just changed point C on you. You'll feel pressurized to give in on point C so that the deal would work. At that time, you will find it difficult to step back from your emotions, the turmoil and fear of loss, and ask yourself if the deal or job is still worth it even without point C.

That is what those negotiators are counting on when they make those last minute changes. That's what they are hoping for!

Two very important precautions:

1) Remember, it's not yours until it's yours.

Until everything is signed and the cheque is in your hand (or the money already in your bank account), the deal isn't through yet. Until that point, something can still go wrong, so don't get emotionally attached to the deal or job yet.

2) Always have options.

If you are stuck, and think that this deal or job is ONLY way to go, you will feel pressured to accepting it anyway, even if point C was VERY important to you. That is the reason why you need clear options. If this deal doesn't work, exactly what will you do next to get another? What is the next job offer you have waiting for you?

When you have options, such negotiators are unable to pull a fast one over you with these cheap tactics.

The best example of having options is Billy Graham Ministries, As I said before, they pay their suppliers promptly (sometimes on the very day). Because of that they have many suppliers offering them the best deals. Those who try to cheat them get away with it ONCE. And they never get a foot at the door again, because of the hordes of other suppliers waiting for a chance.

Always seek to create more definite options for yourself. This will allow you to step back when there are any last minute hiccups.

Are ALL last minute changes attempts to cheat you?

Of course not!

Just keep an eye open during the negotiations. For example, if point C is important to you and the other side agreed to it quickly (too easily???), don't be surprised if they try to change point C later. People with a lot of experience in using this tactic may try to throw in some other hiccup first (maybe some last minute delay) then try to change point C after that. And without offering anything else in exchange.

How will you respond to this? That's between you and God. Will you decide the deal is still worth it? Will you create a better counter-offer? Go the extra mile? Walk away and decide there's no point doing business with people who cannot be trusted? That's up to you to decide. But in order to decide with clarity and wisdom, you need to be emotionally calm and know what your back-up options are. That way such negotiators will not be able to take advantage of you.

Think about this for a while, as I try to figure out how to teach such things to my sons without turning them into total cynics. Be blessed!

Is it supposed to be easy?

One thing I realized a couple of Sundays ago, it's actually quite an easy job playing for my church worship team.

One thing, the skill level is there, but there is no one trying to hog the limelight or the sound mix by playing too much or random doodling on the instrument. We are all content to play what is necessary, to flow with the dynamics of the session, and no more.

And flowing with the dynamics is easy also. Almost every musician in the team is also a worship leader in his own right (we have an all-guy band), so it's easy to just ride the wave, so to speak. Seriously speaking, how many professional church musicians, even in mega-churches, are effective worship leaders in their own right? Not that many in Singapore!

One worship leader I was chatting with once asked me, "Don't you think the musicians need sensitivity to the Holy Spirit during the worship?" and was a bit surprised when I answered "No, they just need to follow the worship leader. We don't need great spiritual sensitivity, just some basic humility!"

(have I offended anyone yet?)

In my experience, if the worship leader isn't flowing with the Holy Spirit, there is very little a musician can do. Little, subtle nudges through the music are about all we musicians can try. And even then, if the worship leader doesn't get it, we have to flow with the leader anyway, or there would be dis-harmony in the team. And that's not good.

Let me put it this way…

A good worship musician cannot help a bad worship leader very much, but a bad worship musician can definitely drag a good worship leader down. So as a musician, my job is mainly to support the worship leader with what he or she is doing. It's up to the worship leader to make sure he or she is doing the right thing!

Why do some people think being a worship musician is difficult?

Basic skill – if your basic skill level isn't there, you will of course have to put in effort to manage. If you are a drummer and can't even play consistent quavers (eighth-notes) on the hi-hats, for example, you can be sure the rest of your skills aren't up to par. Playing for worship will then be a stressful experience, both for you and for the rest of the band.

Worship music – Let's be frank, what passes for contemporary church music these days has grown a lot more complex. In the old days, the most musically challenging arrangements and songs would come from an occasional Ron Kenonly album, where they would pull all the stops on the band, orchestra and choir. Tom Brooks would unleash his usual musical genius to create arrangements that would leave everyone going "wow!!!". And everyone would be awed by the entire album.

But those were special albums, special occasions. For every one of those special albums, Integrity Music would have 10 or more that are taken from what churches did and found effective. These days, many albums seem to be concert-like standard, with a professional band, huge choir and enough attendees to fill a small stadium. The average church is left with the impression that they are supposed to have music like those albums too, or it wouldn't be acceptable praise and worship in God's eyes…

Talk about a heavy burden!

I've said this before, and I'll say it again, good worship music is what unifies the praises of the congregation. Oftentimes, what is simpler tends to work better in a real-life church, as long as the counts and the chords are clear. As a general rule-of-thumb, the more you play the less they sing.

(more on this in the Invisible Worship Musician, chapters 9 to 11)

Worship dynamics – As I said earlier, musicians just need to be able to follow the worship leader. For us, worship dynamics made up of whether to build up the intensity or bring it down. For worship leaders, core decisions will be:

1. Do you bring up or down the intensity? That's easy, let the congregation's singing be your guide.
   
2. Do you move on to the next song with high intensity or bring it down again before you go there? Again, let the congregation's singing be your guide. Just remember that you need to be sure the people know the next song if you want to go there high. Or else the whole thing will just crash on you. Painfully.
   
3. And at the end of the song, does God want to exhort the congregation through you? This is something you need to consider at the later part of the worship, IF the praises of the congregation has been unified. Just be ready for it. Since the testimony of Jesus is the Spirit of prophecy (Rev 19:10), don't be surprised if God wants to exhort, encourage and edify the congregation through you sometime during the worship session.

These three concerns are the ones a worship leader has to deal with. Us musicians have it easy, by comparison. Just how to build up or bring down, and maybe what to play during prophecy, spontaneous worship or during prayer time (my book, chapter 11). If you have the experience and know what usually happens during the worship session, flowing with the dynamics is actually quite easy. You'd then have a good reason to be confident!

Conclusion:

I share all this not to gloat or boast, but to show that it CAN be easy to play music for worship. If it isn't, check to see if you have the basic skills, an accurate understanding of what worship music is like, and confidence in flowing with the dynamics of the worship set.

Just remember, God isn't in the business of giving us burdens to heavy to bear. He's in the business of giving us rest. So get any unnecessary clutter out of your way and enjoy serving God in the worship ministry. Be blessed!

Worship Ministry – How To Work With Difficult Musicians

One of the reasons why I wrote the Invisible Worship Musician was that I wanted to put an end to worship music clashes forever. Play more? Play less? Is flashy good or bad? Glorifying the flesh or showing the greatness of God?

I cut all those questions at the root by showing:

• What worship ministry is supposed to achieve
• Tried and tested ways of doing it
• How to tell if you achieved it

But let's be realistic; not everyone has read my book, and not everyone agrees with it. So what do you do when you have to work with musicians who don't cooperate with you, who flat-out refuse to play what works and insist on doing things their way instead? Here are some things to watch out for.

1) Remember Respect

Don't get so caught up in getting the music to go the way you want that you forget basic respect. Remember, the musician or singer giving you problems is also a sibling-in-Christ, and so deserves basic respect for that.

1 John 4:10-11 (NIV) - This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

There are many ways of loving one another. But sarcastic or insulting words are NOT one of them. The LORD is watching you; how do you handle this challenging situation? Make sure that whatever you do or say is something you won't be ashamed to account to God for.

Matthew 12:37 (NIV) - For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.

2) Long-Term or Short-Term?

Is it a long-term or short-term situation? For example, if you are leading worship for a special conference or event, and you are stuck with a quirky musician because he or she is the only one available from the host church, it isn't worth losing sleep over. If you are only leading worship at that church once a month, or the difficult musician is only a temporary substitute while your main one is away on maternity leave, don't sweat it.

You don't have much responsibility for the situation, unless the pastor asks for your help. And you also don't have very much you can do either!

Proverbs 26:17 (NKJV) - He who passes by and meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a dog by the ears.

But if the problem is a long-term one, you inherited the worship musicians from someone who let the wrong people in, and you have to work with them week after week after week, then this is something you have to take action on.

What you do depends on how much authority you have (are you the leader of the team or just a regular member?) and how much your leader and pastor support your actions. This is a tricky situation, so it is best to work as a team with your leader or pastor on this.

3) Be Patient

No one becomes an uncooperative musician overnight. He or she probably took a long time to build up the bad habits, so it will take time to change them.

It often happens like this: someone has a few flashy displays and people were impressed. So this musician takes this feedback as encouragement to keep on doing more of this, or other stuff like it.

After some time, the playing style and approach has become a strongly held habit. Not everyone has the interest or the time to explore new ways of playing, or to become a musician who can adapt to different situations. They become one-trick ponies, and feel threatened and insecure if you make them think their precious one trick isn't good enough.

So when you are working with them, it is far better to underwhelm them with what you want them to change, than to have them mentally give up on following your instructions.

So give specific pointers and bite-sized tips, such as

• "If you do drum fills during the chorus it throws off my singing. How about doing fills only when I am not singing? Or here's something even better: sing with me, that will help you feel the song."
  
  
• "Let's have our keyboards do complementing jobs, OK? I'll do the rhythm stuff, you do the pads and fills? If we do rhythm together the sound is very cluttered…"
  
  
• "Let me set the tempo for especially the slower songs, OK? I'll use the piano to mark out the counts, stay with me on them."
  
  
• "We need to have less keyboard playing so that the acoustic guitar can be heard more clearly…"

So be patient with any difficult musicians. Take the big-picture and long-term view, which Paul expressed in the following passage:

Philippians 1:6 (NIV) - being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

4) Make them WANT to play with you.

As I said earlier, difficult musicians are often one-trick ponies and they feel very insecure when they suspect their one trick isn't good enough. So they would rather ignore you and keep doing things THEIR way.

But if you can make them WANT to play with you, that will be enough motivation to move them out of their comfort zone. So on your part, make sure you know what you're doing. Make sure you have a decent level of skill with your instrument or voice (whichever you are using) and that you KNOW what you are trying to do with the music. If you have only a vague idea of what you want to hear, how can you expect your musicians to have a clear picture of the sound you want?

Most importantly, make sure you have respect both for yourself and the other musicians. The last thing you want others thinking is that you have great skills but lousy attitude.

Try out these tips and let me know how they go? Be blessed!