If you have been following me on Twitter (@junjiehuang) or on FaceBook (as Junjie Huang), you'll know that my elder boy recently came down with some gastro-something viral thingy and had to be hospitalized. It was not an easy decision, but when he had high fever and kept vomiting out everything, even the fever medicine and water, we had no choice. He had to be put on a drip, so he had to be warded.
It was an interesting experience, to say the least. There was one young boy (at the most 2 years old) who was clamoring to go home. And his mum kept telling him that they were going home soon, just after the doctor checks him one more time. Come on, the kid was already in hospital clothes, the doctors had already made their final rounds for the day, it was after 9pm at night... she was lying through her teeth there! What's gonna happen to her when the kid grows older and he refuses to trust her because she has lied to him too many times before?
And there was this other kid, even younger than the previous one. He was initially quiet when he saw me in the ward, but by the next day he was taking my kids' toys and loudly shouting "MINE!" when any of my kids wanted to get them back. The mother would quietly take them away from him and return them to my kids when he was distracted with something else. But what message was she sending to that boy about respecting other people's property? That he was the centre of the world and the rightful owner of ALL he surveyed?
Of course, Jessiah wasn't totally perfect too. I must admit I was disappointed at his total abject fear of having the needle stuck into his hand so the nurses could insert the drip. I guess at that moment it was a little too late for me to teach him pain disassociation and calming techniques, right? It did not feel good to me, pinning him down with my arms, holding his arm and hand in place for the nurse to insert the drip, knowing that it WAS going to hurt because his hand was so tense from fear. What happened to all the breathing and calming techniques I taught him before?
"JJ, you're expecting too much from a 7 year old kid!" Yeah, maybe you're right!
If you have been following my emails and blog posts for a while you'll see that my two boys trigger off a lot of my thoughts, ideas and posts. I think about my kids a lot, especially in the context of spiritual matters. Recently as I spent a lot more time on Deuteronomy, I realized that God has our children very much on his heart also. Many times in Deuteronomy we are admonished to teach our children, to impart godly wisdom and teaching to them. For example:
Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them. Remember the day you stood before the LORD your God at Horeb, when he said to me, "Assemble the people before me to hear my words so that they may learn to revere me as long as they live in the land and may teach them to their children." (Deuteronomy 4:9-10, NIV)
God has children very much on his heart. And he wants us to prioritize teaching them. We are to make the most of every opportunity to teach them, using whatever is in my environment and daily schedule as a context for training them in the fear of the Lord. Consider this:
"Hear, O Israel : The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." (Deuteronomy 6:4-7, NIV)
In other words, get obsessed with God and keep talking about him to your kids!
Raising up kids is tough. And it's gonna get tougher and tougher as the days go by. This is one thing that we MUST work at together, as a community of God and as the Body of Christ. There are three main groups of people on my heart as I write this message.
1) Parents with growing kids
Don't isolate yourself from the rest of the Body of Christ. It is a bad move in general, but it is extremely devastating when it comes to parenting. No matter how strong you are or how wise you are, you will need help. So get help!
Work in partnership with other parents. Trade tips, help mind each others' kids once in a while, just look for ways to sow practical help into the lives of other parents and be humble enough to accept the help offered by other parents too.
For example, my current ministry means that I am VERY busy on Sundays after the service. As long as my pastor isn't done, I'm not done! If he doesn't get to eat, I don't get to eat! All that is fine, except that if I have to manage my kids by myself they're not going to have a decent lunch until quite late in the day. And I don't like that. Thank God for the other parents at my church, people who know me and my kids and are willing to help feed them while I handle lots of other stuff!
2) Parents with grown kids
If you have already been there and done that, help us younger parents. Share your advice, wisdom and experience. Don't let us make all the same mistakes you did. And do encourage us. We can read all the parenting books, even excellent ones by writers full of the wisdom of God, but it just doesn't compare to you coming alongside us and telling us "this is a passing phase, your kids will grow out of this and they'll be fine!"
I know this may not be easy. Especially if you are trying to help people like me. There's just something about me, when it comes to raising my kids people tend to think I know what I am doing. That's the impression I tend to give other people. I don't. Most of the time, when I look so confident and certain on the outside, I am desperately praying for God's wisdom on the inside. When it comes to my kids I really appreciate wisdom from people who have walked the path before. And I am sure other younger parents are like me, they appreciate your help too. So please help us!
3) You're too young to have your own kids
As long as you are old enough to walk and hold something in your hand you are old enough to learn how to help manage children. Start small. If you are an only child or you never helped your parents manage younger siblings before, go volunteer in your church nursery. An extra pair of willing hands will always be appreciated. Give the parents in your church a hand, help them lift a pram up a staircase, help them carry a bag (milk bottles, powder, diapers and all that can get heavy, trust me, I know!). Do all these little things to get yourself in contact with children, to get familiar with them, and to make yourself useful with them.
Jesus said "And if you have not been trustworthy with someone else's property, who will give you property of your own?" (Luke 16:12, NIV) Show yourself trustworthy with other people's kids. The experience will prove invaluable when you have children of your own!
You may be wondering, I am a Worship Trainer, why am I talking so much about children? For one thing, God's Word wants us to care about children, to be forward looking in planning and caring for the next generation. And that's good enough a reason for many people.
But for me there is also another reason. As a worship minister I pay a lot of attention to the life of King David, the most prominent worshipper in the Bible. And one thing that really struck me about David is this: he was one lousy father. Think about it, Ammon was a selfish kid who raped his half-sister, Absalom was a bloodthirsty and violent coward (rare combination, I know), even Solomon eventually turned away from the LORD to worship other gods.
This is sobering when I look at my own two boys. What kind of people will they become? The Bible says we are to train the child in the way he should go, and when he grows old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6). And this tells me that David COULD have prevented his sons from becoming like this. But he didn't.
I don't want that to be said of my life. And that is why I think so much about my sons, especially when it comes to spiritual matters. I feel very keenly the responsibilities the LORD has entrusted to me in this area. So that is why it colours a lot of what I share with you.
Anyway, that's what I'd like to share with you this time. Be blessed!
It was an interesting experience, to say the least. There was one young boy (at the most 2 years old) who was clamoring to go home. And his mum kept telling him that they were going home soon, just after the doctor checks him one more time. Come on, the kid was already in hospital clothes, the doctors had already made their final rounds for the day, it was after 9pm at night... she was lying through her teeth there! What's gonna happen to her when the kid grows older and he refuses to trust her because she has lied to him too many times before?
And there was this other kid, even younger than the previous one. He was initially quiet when he saw me in the ward, but by the next day he was taking my kids' toys and loudly shouting "MINE!" when any of my kids wanted to get them back. The mother would quietly take them away from him and return them to my kids when he was distracted with something else. But what message was she sending to that boy about respecting other people's property? That he was the centre of the world and the rightful owner of ALL he surveyed?
Of course, Jessiah wasn't totally perfect too. I must admit I was disappointed at his total abject fear of having the needle stuck into his hand so the nurses could insert the drip. I guess at that moment it was a little too late for me to teach him pain disassociation and calming techniques, right? It did not feel good to me, pinning him down with my arms, holding his arm and hand in place for the nurse to insert the drip, knowing that it WAS going to hurt because his hand was so tense from fear. What happened to all the breathing and calming techniques I taught him before?
"JJ, you're expecting too much from a 7 year old kid!" Yeah, maybe you're right!
If you have been following my emails and blog posts for a while you'll see that my two boys trigger off a lot of my thoughts, ideas and posts. I think about my kids a lot, especially in the context of spiritual matters. Recently as I spent a lot more time on Deuteronomy, I realized that God has our children very much on his heart also. Many times in Deuteronomy we are admonished to teach our children, to impart godly wisdom and teaching to them. For example:
Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them. Remember the day you stood before the LORD your God at Horeb, when he said to me, "Assemble the people before me to hear my words so that they may learn to revere me as long as they live in the land and may teach them to their children." (Deuteronomy 4:9-10, NIV)
God has children very much on his heart. And he wants us to prioritize teaching them. We are to make the most of every opportunity to teach them, using whatever is in my environment and daily schedule as a context for training them in the fear of the Lord. Consider this:
"Hear, O Israel : The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." (Deuteronomy 6:4-7, NIV)
In other words, get obsessed with God and keep talking about him to your kids!
Raising up kids is tough. And it's gonna get tougher and tougher as the days go by. This is one thing that we MUST work at together, as a community of God and as the Body of Christ. There are three main groups of people on my heart as I write this message.
1) Parents with growing kids
Don't isolate yourself from the rest of the Body of Christ. It is a bad move in general, but it is extremely devastating when it comes to parenting. No matter how strong you are or how wise you are, you will need help. So get help!
Work in partnership with other parents. Trade tips, help mind each others' kids once in a while, just look for ways to sow practical help into the lives of other parents and be humble enough to accept the help offered by other parents too.
For example, my current ministry means that I am VERY busy on Sundays after the service. As long as my pastor isn't done, I'm not done! If he doesn't get to eat, I don't get to eat! All that is fine, except that if I have to manage my kids by myself they're not going to have a decent lunch until quite late in the day. And I don't like that. Thank God for the other parents at my church, people who know me and my kids and are willing to help feed them while I handle lots of other stuff!
2) Parents with grown kids
If you have already been there and done that, help us younger parents. Share your advice, wisdom and experience. Don't let us make all the same mistakes you did. And do encourage us. We can read all the parenting books, even excellent ones by writers full of the wisdom of God, but it just doesn't compare to you coming alongside us and telling us "this is a passing phase, your kids will grow out of this and they'll be fine!"
I know this may not be easy. Especially if you are trying to help people like me. There's just something about me, when it comes to raising my kids people tend to think I know what I am doing. That's the impression I tend to give other people. I don't. Most of the time, when I look so confident and certain on the outside, I am desperately praying for God's wisdom on the inside. When it comes to my kids I really appreciate wisdom from people who have walked the path before. And I am sure other younger parents are like me, they appreciate your help too. So please help us!
3) You're too young to have your own kids
As long as you are old enough to walk and hold something in your hand you are old enough to learn how to help manage children. Start small. If you are an only child or you never helped your parents manage younger siblings before, go volunteer in your church nursery. An extra pair of willing hands will always be appreciated. Give the parents in your church a hand, help them lift a pram up a staircase, help them carry a bag (milk bottles, powder, diapers and all that can get heavy, trust me, I know!). Do all these little things to get yourself in contact with children, to get familiar with them, and to make yourself useful with them.
Jesus said "And if you have not been trustworthy with someone else's property, who will give you property of your own?" (Luke 16:12, NIV) Show yourself trustworthy with other people's kids. The experience will prove invaluable when you have children of your own!
You may be wondering, I am a Worship Trainer, why am I talking so much about children? For one thing, God's Word wants us to care about children, to be forward looking in planning and caring for the next generation. And that's good enough a reason for many people.
But for me there is also another reason. As a worship minister I pay a lot of attention to the life of King David, the most prominent worshipper in the Bible. And one thing that really struck me about David is this: he was one lousy father. Think about it, Ammon was a selfish kid who raped his half-sister, Absalom was a bloodthirsty and violent coward (rare combination, I know), even Solomon eventually turned away from the LORD to worship other gods.
This is sobering when I look at my own two boys. What kind of people will they become? The Bible says we are to train the child in the way he should go, and when he grows old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6). And this tells me that David COULD have prevented his sons from becoming like this. But he didn't.
I don't want that to be said of my life. And that is why I think so much about my sons, especially when it comes to spiritual matters. I feel very keenly the responsibilities the LORD has entrusted to me in this area. So that is why it colours a lot of what I share with you.
Anyway, that's what I'd like to share with you this time. Be blessed!
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