Serve as unto the Lord

But who am I, and who are my people, that we should be able to give as generously as this? Everything comes from you, and we have given you only what comes from your hand. (1 Chronicles 29:14, NIV)

Who knows? He may turn and have pity and leave behind a blessing-- grain offerings and drink offerings for the LORD your God. (Joel 2:14, NIV)

What do the two verses above have in common? The idea that whatever we offer God came from him in the first place. We aren't really giving him anything, we are only returning to him a part of it.

Putting it simply, we are ALWAYS getting the better part of the deal.

That's something we need to keep in mind when we actually SERVE God's people. In 1 Peter 4:11, it says "If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides" (NIV). And we are told that because we are serving God, HE is the one who will reward us (Col 3:24). Not men.

And that is an area that has stumbled many who step forward to serve God. They subconsciously believe that because they are serving certain people, their reward will come from these people. Of course, we can cover this up with spiritual jargon, and say that everything we do is unto the Lord. But the acid test is when people let us down. What then?

Let me share with you my personal experience, in case you think I have my act together all the time.

One of the ways I earn a living is by giving personal lessons in worship music. And I have learned the hard way NEVER to serve at a place where I already have students serving. Because these students will stop taking lessons with me soon after that. And my income suffers.

The first time this happened was with a church where I had TWO students serving on the worship team. They lost a core musician and they were scrambling to fix the vacuum. So two of the more proactive people heard about me, checked out my teaching and decided to take lessons from me.

Problem was, no matter how quickly they learned they were not gonna be able to fix the music vacuum straight away. So I was invited to play piano for them, help them out for one of their services and all that. Being a sucker for a sob story, I agreed. The idealist in me thought "This is a GREAT way to teach them, they'll see me actually do what I tell them to do, and in front of their own eyes they'll see it work!"

That was what happened. They saw that I actually did what I told them to do. Some parts where I have told them not to play they saw me actually put my hands behind my back. (Something most church pianists don't have the guts to do, I noticed). They saw how well the congregation responded to all the subtle changes I explained (and now demonstrated) to them.

And they stopped taking lessons.

In retrospect I understand why this happens. People usually do things (like take worship music lessons) to get rid of pain. When I started serving in that church I immediately took away a huge source of their pain, the pain that comes from having rudderless musicians playing junk for a church service. So by stepping forth to serve I shot myself in the foot by taking away their motivation to take lessons from me.

I do understand that life is unpredictable and things crop up. And that was what happened to one of them. But the other one gave me loads of hyper-lame excuses. Let me give you a sample:

1) "I am not called to play music instruments" - show me from the Bible where there is such thing...

2) "I want to check my motivations and the condition of my heart" - I could tell you what was in this person's heart - laziness! Check out the other excuses and you'll see what I mean.

3) "I don't have time to practice" - which sounds really funny because soon after this person said:

4) "I'm busy with classical piano lessons, because that would help with worship piano" - Look, either you've got time or you don't. And if you don't have time and you want to learn worship music, then learn worship piano playing directly! It's like someone claiming she wants to learn Japanese but is too busy to take Japanese lessons because she's learning Mandarin to help her with her Japanese.

This person also metaphorically slapped me in the face. One day, during band practice, this person openly approached another pianist and asked this pianist to teach this person's kid. Well, at that time this pianist was a student and didn't have any teaching experience, and she knew that I had loads of experience teaching both adults and children, so she asked "Why don't you ask JJ?" The reply was "What JJ teaches is very complicated..."

OK, that was going a tad bit too far. I usually watch my manners when speaking to people in positions of leadership, but this time I spoke up and said "If you can say that, you obviously haven't been listening!" This person quietly moved on to do other stuff while the rest of the musicians and back-up vocalists waited in uncomfortable silence for the band practice to begin...

Yeah, that was what I put up with, in addition to the financial hardship that came from losing two students and giving up prime teaching time for the sake of serving. Would you believe that in the end I stopped playing for that group, not because of financial hardship, but only because of my family? My son was acting up, my wife suspected that it was because he needed even more time with me, so she appealed to me to give priority to my kid. And I did.

Not that I am such a dedicated and devoted servant of God. I think it's just because I got into the habit of turning up, that's all. Sometimes that's all God really needs from us to serve him powerfully...

I buried this season in my subconscious and tried to forget all about it. Until this happened again and again. Even with students who have been faithfully taking lessons from me for years and risen in prominence in their churches because of their growing effectiveness in the worship ministry. (Which shows you, by the way, that it's not because of my lousy people skills. If that was the problem, why would these students continue taking lessons from me for so long?)

Once I start serving WITH them, they stop lessons very soon after that. And my income suffers.

And so I have to battle bitterness and resentment. Hey look, I don't get paid to serve God with them. I do it because of the opportunity to sow more into my students' lives. The time I give up for serving could have been used to bring in more money for my family, but I forego income willingly for that purpose (that makes me a lousy businessman, I know). And so I feel betrayed when my students stop taking lessons from me. It's like them not respecting my time after I start giving them even more free lessons.

So I have two choices: give in to bitterness or really serve as unto the Lord. If I expect that people would respect my serving and so I would see SOME form of concrete appreciation from them (like continuing to take ridiculously under-priced lessons from me) I WILL be disappointed.

It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man. (Psalm 118:8, NIV)

BUT if I see my reward as coming from the Lord, in HIS good time, in the way and manner that HE chooses, my heart will be able to rest in him. Seriously, what did it cost GOD for me to serve him? It cost him his son, who died to make me fit to serve God. And even whatever I use to serve God came from him in the first place, right?

For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not? (1 Cor 4:7 NIV)

So, as Jesus said before, "Freely you have received, freely give." (Mat 10:8, NIV) This does not mean to refuse monetary compensation, because in the same passage Jesus said "The worker is worth his keep" (Mat 10:10, NIV). But at the root of it all, serve as unto the Lord. And expect your reward to come from him.

Does that mean that I am now going start serving at whatever place I am invited to serve at, even if I have students there? No way! My first priority is to provide for my family (1 Tim 5:8), and that means getting more students AND keeping the students I now have. That's my bread and butter, I have to guard it wisely.

It DOES mean that I have to walk in forgiveness continually, just as Christ has forgiven me. It means that before I do anything for ministry I now count the cost. Can I afford to bear the financial consequences of serving in a particular way? And not expect anyone to come along and help me bear the burden? If so I go ahead. If not, I decline the opportunity to serve.

Conclusion: after the most recent time I lost a student after serving, I was very offended and frustrated, as you can imagine. I kept wrestling with the offence. Every time my anger arose I kept telling God "I'm gonna serve because it's you, not for any other reason. In the end you gave me everything, I am only returning part of what you gave me in the first place." And within a few weeks God opened for me a door to minister in a place and a way that I didn't believe I ever have, and even sooner than I expected. I honestly feel like Joseph taken from the prison to Pharaoh's court, a huge change overnight.

I can't share the details now (this post has gone on long enough!) but suffice it to say that I finally feel as if I am better utilized for God's Kingdom. More of my giftings and abilities are called into play. I am even busier than before, and yet there is this sense of peace and rest that pervades everything I do. I really can't explain it, but I am certainly enjoying it!

All my struggles and frustrations honestly look so small, compared to what I am enjoy in my life and ministry now. The Lord has rewarded me, and I am grateful.And that's what I'd like to share with you today.

If you serve, whether in the Worship Ministry directly (as I still do) or indirectly, or even in some other form of ministry, you can tell if you are serving as unto the Lord or unto men. Just watch what happens when people offend you or despise you. If you struggle to continue, some part of you is still serving as unto men.

If so, my dear sibling-in-Christ, don't let the offences and your disappointment cause you to give up. Your reward is on the way. Our God remembers everything you do for him and his Word declares:

Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. (1 Cor 15:58, NIV)

Be blessed!