Lesson From A Loser Love-Song

I was buying groceries at a supermarket near my home one day, and they started playing one of those Loser Love-Songs over the sound system. *sigh*

Loser Love-Songs is what I call those songs in which the guy gets dumped by his girlfriend and he starts mooning over her and getting all whiney and weepy. Maybe she figured out that he was that sort and that's why she left him in the first place? I wouldn't be surprised!

You can guess I get disgusted with those songs…

But that day in the supermarket, I suddenly realized there was a Biblical truth in THIS Loser Love-Song.

It's called 不要對他說 (Don't Say This To Him) and it is the guy begging the girl not to say certain things to her new boyfriend (the one she is dumping him for). If you want to check out the song, you can hear it in the video below:


The Biblical truth I noticed came out in these words

不要對他說　夜裡會害怕
Don’t tell him you are afraid at night

別說你多睌都會等他的電話
Don't say you will stay up late just for his phone call

別說你只喜歡他送的玫瑰花
Don't say that you love only the roses that come from him

因為這些　是我僅有　殘留的夢
These are my broken dreams


What suddenly struck me was the realization that even though it was a Loser Love-Song (and was setting my teeth on edge) what the composer was asking for is actually something Biblical. He was asking for intimacy, in other words, that there be something that be kept as an exclusive experience between him and his lover.

I believe this is what we earnestly desire when it comes to our romantic lives, a sense of communicating and connecting with someone of the opposite gender so deeply and on an exclusive level. This is what is described in the following passage:

Song of Solomon 4:10-12 (NIV) - How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much more pleasing is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your perfume than any spice!

Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride; milk and honey are under your tongue. The fragrance of your garments is like that of Lebanon.

You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride; you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain.

Not only is this sense of exclusivity shown to be desirable in women, it is also urged upon men as well.

Proverbs 5:16-17 (NIV) - Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers.

One thing about this sense of exclusivity, we hurt ourselves and the people we open ourselves to if we do it prematurely, or to the wrong people. That's why we need to give ourselves time in any romantic relationship, time to see if this person is someone who can be trusted with our secrets, especially our weaknesses or past mistakes.

Be especially cautious of people who take your weaknesses or past mistakes and use them against you when during quarrels and arguments. Cut these people out of your life immediately. You will regret getting even closer with such people, that I can promise you. These people are what I consider the thorns in the flesh, the messengers of Satan that you should avoid like the plague.

And if they can be harsh and unforgiving to you before marriage, remember, you are totally at their mercy after marriage. Either that or you be prepared to live the rest of your life putting on a false front before your spouse or wondering when any skeletons in your closet will be discovered or when your past will finally catch up with you.

It doesn't have to be like that.

But it does mean that you be very discerning about the people you share the deepest, most intimate (exclusive) secrets of your life with. It may mean waiting longer for the right person, or it may mean investing time, money and effort in getting sound Christian counseling and pastoral care for your life first, so you will be able to discern the right person when he or she arrives.

Will it be worth it? I can't answer that question for you, but would you rather be the one standing outside an ex-girlfriend or boyfriend's window singing a loser love-song?