Pride of the Prophetic

I led worship for all the sessions of the Living Faith Church Pastors Conference last week.

Why is that significant to me?

You see, a month ago I received a strongly worded email about me, my life and all that. It came from someone whose heart I respect (in fact, I trust his sincerity a lot more than I trust my own) but whose level of insight is not always at a very high level.

Anyway, his email was on what he saw was wrong with my life. Simply put, he said that a lot of the fundamentals in my life were not in place and as long as there are not in place, my ministry will never go the way God wants it to go. He said that I would keep seeing people of a lesser capability than I, or younger in the faith, rise up and run further than I in worship ministry just because they are obedient to lay the foundations. I myself will be hovering and floating around trying to volunteer for worship ministry but never finding a place where I can take off.

Heavy going words, right? Makes me sound like the ultimate in pathetic, like Deu 28:68 - "There you will offer yourselves for sale to your enemies as male and female slaves, but no one will buy you."

What gave him the ammo for his point was the postponement of my California ministry trip. To him, it's a spiritual matter, and further proof that God will close doors for me until I shape up.

Why do I even bother to give any thought to emails like that? Because that is how I am. I'm not interested in boasting of all the ministry opportunities that have come my way (and I have seized), I don't want to talk about how respected my ministry is amongst people with powerful prophetic insight and all that. Even if it proves this friend wrong.

Because:

1) he would just dismiss it anyway, saying that it doesn't count or the people involved are not spiritual leaders worth their salt (since they give open doors to someone he counts unworthy); AND

2) there is always the chance that there might be some truth in what he says. Ecc 10:1 says "As dead flies give perfume a bad smell, so a little folly outweighs wisdom and honor". I am the sort who wants to look past the dead flies at the perfume, get what I mean?

So I brought the entire matter before God. What I think or what my friend says about my ministry isn't important, it's what God says that matters. So I prayed "God, you show me what YOU think of me and my ministry!"

The Answer

And within a week I was asked to lead worship for all the sessions of the Pastors Conference. I still remember praying about it, "God, should I or shouldn't I? Can I afford the time to? Can I afford the strength? Is it your will? Am I moving in the flesh, trying to open doors for myself in my own power rather than your Spirit?" and so on.

People who know me well will be sniggering away by now, because they know I usually have no patience for this kind of self-centred, moribund, self-indulgent introspection that cripples many charismatics and worship ministers I know. Yeah, that is how contagious doubt is!

Once I could quiet down my spirit to really hear the voice of God, I felt God telling me "I opened this door for you in answer to your prayer. Why are you praying about whether to go in? This is not an opportunity for you to serve. Leading worship for this conference is your reward!"

I know it sounds weird to say that serving my heart out is itself a reward, but that truly was how I experienced those sessions. It was so easy to lead worship for those pastors, I was basking in the spotlight anointing so easily, in the end I was so richly blessed and edified by those worship sessions.

So my heart is at rest now. I know my ministry and my walk with Christ isn't perfect yet, but God has chosen to vindicate me. And I am grateful.

About that brother:

I know this post makes that brother-in-Christ look bad. He isn't a bad person. As I said earlier, I trust his sincerity more than I trust my own. I have totally no doubts over his motivations; he has more than proven himself to truly love me and my family with the love of God.

It's just that he's not open to input when he's already made up his mind.

Before he sent off that email to me, he could have asked the opinions of church leaders who are in active contact with me, and be willing to hear from them. In church I am actively serving under two small group leaders who are mature believers I respect. They are not spiritually gullible newbies in Christ, easily taken in by a charismatic song and dance routine. They've been around and they have a certain level of discernment.

And they told me that for the tangibles (what can be seen in my actions and words) the points of that email were inaccurate and wrong. Both told me to set my heart at rest.

But what about my heart?

What about the inner workings of my heart? What about my motivations, my priorities and all that?

This is going to offend some people, but I sincerely believe that God deals with us not based on the intangibles (like the heart) but based on the tangibles, like our actions. Consider how David prayed about wicked people who habour malice in their hearts:

• Repay them for their deeds and for their evil work; repay them for what their hands have done and bring back upon them what they deserve. (Psa 28:4, NIV)

Notice David focuses on the obvious? God himself also judges us according to our deeds, rather than our hearts. He said so.

• "I, the LORD, search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve." (Jer 17:10, NIV)

Because I long realized that the heart is deceitful above all things and utterly wicked (Jer 17:9), I gave up looking at my heart, worked on getting my actions right, and letting the Lord himself do his work in my heart in his timing. When one of my leaders told this friend about my actions and how faithful I am in serving, he took the ultimate charismatic cop-out – when he couldn't find fault with my actions (the tangibles), he moved on to talk about the intangibles (like foundations and all that).

As I said, he isn't open to other opinions once he has made up his mind.

This is a kind of pride that prophetically inclined people have to watch out for. They have heard God accurately some times, and take that to mean that they hear God correctly all the time. And if other believers don't agree with them there must be something wrong with those other believers.

And we worship ministers…

We in the worship ministry ALSO have to beware of this kind of pride. Because the Testimony of Jesus is the Spirit of Prophecy (Rev 19:10), and we worship leaders are actively testifying of Jesus through our words and songs, we will find ourselves moving in the prophetic (even if we don't know or don't believe in it).

And when that happens we have to watch out for the Pride of the Prophetic. We may hear God and even speak for him accurately some times, or even often, but that does not mean we hear him accurately all the time. We still have to keep ourselves humble and teachable. Moving in the Spirit of Prophecy does not mean that we have superseded the rest of the Word of God. All the non-glamorous verses in Proverbs still apply to us, verses such as:

• He who answers before listening — that is his folly and his shame. (Pro 18:13).

We still need to be willing to hear from other people, even those we consider spiritually younger or weaker than us. After all,

• A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions. (Pro 18:2, NIV)

Anyway, that's about it for now. I have got some other things to look at this week, so I'll get on with them. Do share your thoughts with me on this? You may add your comments on the bottom of this page, in the comments section. Be blessed!