Crisis and Loss – What is your reflex action?

I hate to sound negative, but here is a harsh truth: sooner or later we will face loss, crisis or grief.

Whether losing a loved one through death, being forsaken by the person who promised to marry you or even the loss of a job position, it is only a matter of time before crisis hit us. The exact problem may differ, but the emotional upheaval, the shock, fear, anger and aching sense of loss that hits us will be the same.

When that happens, we will not be at our emotional and mental best. We will most likely find our emotions running away with us, if not at the moment then some time later.

1 Samuel 30:1-2 (NKJV) - Now it happened, when David and his men came to Ziklag, on the third day, that the Amalekites had invaded the South and Ziklag, attacked Ziklag and burned it with fire, and had taken captive the women and those who were there, from small to great; they did not kill anyone, but carried them away and went their way.

This was the crisis David faced. We must remember that David had no guarantee his wives and children were safe. He didn’t find their corpses at the ruins at Ziklag, but that meant nothing in an era when human life was cheap. He could only hope his family was safe. His men had no such hope, but gave in to despair immediately.

1 Samuel 30:3-6 (NKJV)- So David and his men came to the city, and there it was, burned with fire; and their wives, their sons, and their daughters had been taken captive. Then David and the people who were with him lifted up their voices and wept, until they had no more power to weep… Now David was greatly distressed, for the people spoke of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and his daughters. But David strengthened himself in the Lord his God.

At first, David reacted as any one of us would, he wept until he had no more strength to weep. But after that he strengthened himself in the Lord his God. Notice that this was NOT an automatic thing. David had to make the decision to strengthen himself in the Lord. Other translations say “David encouraged himself in the Lord”. He did not wait for God to come and zap him out of his grief. At that exact moment David HAD to take the initiative, to make the first move in approaching God.

This is NOT what I see from other people going through crisis or grief. At the most I see them grieving, but not going on from there to encourage themselves in the Lord or seeking him. Does God owe it to us to blast all the negative emotions out of us without any serious action on our part? I don’t think so!

When the crisis or loss hits, what we do will be the result of all the preparation we have put in during the peaceful seasons, when we seek God in prayer and the Scriptures. Whether we will seek God properly when the storms of life hit depends a lot on if we seek him before the storms. Whether our minds and emotions will react well to the trials depend a lot on how much we let the Scriptures renew our minds before the trials come.

Matthew 7:24-25 (NKJV) - "Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock.”

Let’s look at some people who reacted well to the storms.

Job 1:20-21 (NKJV) - Then Job arose, tore his robe, and shaved his head; and he fell to the ground and worshiped. And he said: "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return there. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord."

Job had just received news that he had lost ALL his wealth and ALL his children. And yet his first reaction was worship. Some Word-of-Faith people (like me) are uncomfortable when Job said “The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away”, but we all can agree with what he said next: “Blessed be the name of the Lord”!

I am not saying that just because I am a worship leader. I have seen in many lives that if people keep seeking the LORD even during the storms, they come out from the storms sooner, faster and better. Worship is necessary for restoration and wholeness to take place. Job’s reflex action put him smack on the path of restoration and wholeness again. Things would get worse before they get better, but at least he was moving in the right direction!

2 Samuel 12:15-16, 19-20 (NIV 84) - After Nathan had gone home, the LORD struck the child that Uriah's wife had borne to David, and he became ill. David pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and went into his house and spent the nights lying on the ground… David noticed that his servants were whispering among themselves and he realized the child was dead. "Is the child dead?" he asked. "Yes," they replied, "he is dead." Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the LORD and worshiped. Then he went to his own house, and at his request they served him food, and he ate.

This was just after David was confronted about his adultery with Bathsheba. God already decreed that the baby born to them would die, but David entreated the LORD for mercy. When his supplications were fruitless and the child died, David also reacted with worship. And God showed his mercy by setting his heart upon the next child from David and Bathsheba. We know that child as Solomon, but God called him Jedidiah, “beloved of the LORD”.

Seeking the LORD, even after a grief or loss we don’t understand, is always the best thing to do!

Negative Example

Matthew 26:36-38, 40-41 (NKJV) - Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and said to the disciples, “Sit here while I go and pray over there.” And He took with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and He began to be sorrowful and deeply distressed. Then He said to them, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me.” … Then He came to the disciples and found them sleeping, and said to Peter, “What! Could you not watch with Me one hour? Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

This account in Scripture haunted me ever since I first read it as a new Christian. We are caught off guard by crisis and loss almost all the time. But this time Peter and the two brothers were warned by Jesus in advance AND told to pray. And they could not.

I suspect that during all that time Jesus was physically present, they were counting on Jesus to seek God for them. They were depending on him to hear God, relay God’s instructions to them and fix the mess whenever they fumbled. Jesus had told them of their relationship with God, the Father in heaven, but they were lazy in their prayer lives. And when push came to shove and Jesus asked them to pray just that one hour, they could not. They did not have the spiritual stamina for it.

How about us? Do we count on having a prayerful husband/wife or a pastor or small group leader, and have them do all the praying for us? I don’t want to sound alarmist or negative, but if even Peter and the two brothers, who walked physically with Jesus during his earthly ministry, could not get away with that, how can we make it without a proper prayer life of our own?

Just One Hour?

Jesus’ words, “Could you not watch with Me one hour?” also suggests to me that when a crisis or trial comes, one hour seeking God is what we need. We don’t need to spend the whole night in prayerful vigil (though that would be even better). Just one hour spent seeking God, crying out to him (not just sobbing away by ourselves), encouraging ourselves in the LORD (commanding our souls to remember God’s goodness) and giving thanks to him for all his goodness in our lives.

2 Chronicles 20:21-22 (NIV) - After consulting the people, Jehoshaphat appointed men to sing to the LORD and to praise him for the splendour of his holiness as they went out at the head of the army, saying: ‘Give thanks to the LORD, for his love endures forever.’ As they began to sing and praise, the LORD set ambushes against the men of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir who were invading Judah, and they were defeated.

But it takes training and discipline. Don’t expect that you can have a wimpy prayer life and suddenly be able to pray for one hour the next time a crisis hits. We need extended stretches of time spent seeking the LORD (one hour?), not just a whispered prayer here and there during TV commercials or while waiting for the next train to arrive. We have to spend enough time in the Scriptures to renew our minds and emotions, to establish our hearts and minds in the ways of God. This won’t happen just by reading Christian books, watching sermon videos on Youtube, scanning through Christian posts on Facebook or getting some preacher who moves in signs and wonders to pray for you. If the last one would work, wouldn’t Jesus have already done that for Peter and the two brothers?

What Next?

If you know that your prayer life has been weak and you want to strengthen it, or if you are already facing trials and you KNOW that how you are handling it badly, get help. Find people you can be accountable to, and report your prayer life to them, even if you didn’t pray.

You can also join me at my Facebook Bible reading group, https://www.facebook.com/groups/approved.workmen/ , follow along with the readings from Psalms and the prayers I pray for my pastors. When you read the Psalms aloud, as I do, it is like seeds of prayer you are planting into your own heart. And over time they will help you bear a harvest of a strong and vibrant prayer life. Use the prayers I pray for my pastors to pray for yourself and your pastors. Over time you will not only grow in your prayer life, you will find your spiritual maturity in other areas growing too.

May the LORD find us faithful and fruitful in prayer this year!