Arguing About Food

A few weekends back, I was stuck in an argument with a relative over food. She wanted to have dinner with me, but wanted more expensive food and wanted me to pay for it. She euphemistically called it ‘good’ food, but we all know what she meant, especially when she dismissed all of my suggestions that would have fitted nicely into my food budget.


When she saw that she wasn’t able to persuade me from my stand (sticking to a wise budget is a basic discipline I learned the hard way) she started arguing with me, insulting me over my earning capacity and how little I treasure the relationship as I am not willing to spend 3 meals’ budget (6 if you include her) on one meal with her.


Moments like this really reinforce to me the truth of the following Scriptures:

Proverbs 15:17 - Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred.


Proverbs 17:1 - Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife.

Why would Solomon even set up a contrast between a place of luxurious food and strife, and drab food with peace? I am not sure, but I believe it’s because there are times self-indulgent people, whose god is their stomach and glory is in their shame (Phi 3:19) would consider luxurious food more important than keeping peace.


I know, most of the time we can’t choose our relatives. So if we have relatives like that, God help us! But there are two things we CAN do to reduce your exposure to this type of idiotic situations.


1) Choose your spouse carefully

Proverbs 21:9 - Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.


Proverbs 21:19 - Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife

If you have a quarrelsome spouse (male or female), he or she can turn anything into an argument. And that includes food too. You’ll end up walking on eggshells all the time, wondering when is the next blow-up coming. And your kids will either grow up to be argumentative and aggressive, or they’ll become timid and easily bullied by the people of the world.


So for the sake of your own mental health and the health of your future children, don’t ever, ever marry such people!

Of course, if we are all charmed by our potential spouse during dating and courtship, we may not recognize the person’s true colours until too late. But here are two helpful tips. Watch how much they insist on their own way and no other. And watch how he or she reacts when unexpected snags crop up. If they take them well (and over a period of at least 6-12 months), you know you have someone who isn’t going to give you much problems in this area. Also, someone who can take unexpected snags in his or her stride is the sort of person who can keep his or her presence of mind while parenting. Good thing to watch out for if you ever want to raise a family.

(And if you know the quarrelsome one is you, repent! Quick!)

2) Train your children well.

Proverbs 22:6 (NIV) - Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

We have to impart discipline and wisdom to our children and teach them God’s priorities. In this case this means making sure they are not ruled by their appetites but know how to keep their stomachs from wrecking havoc over their lives.


Besides teaching them the Word of God (all those above passages from Proverbs are a good start), we also need to teach them appreciate healthy food. Plain water is great, fresh fruits are fantastic and there is a joy in eating natural, unprocessed food.


We also need to keep our children from being addicted to processed and unnatural food such as white sugar, MSG and all that kind of stuff. Why? Because an addict isn’t able to think straight about food and nutrition. Their cravings will drive them to seek their own way regardless of the people around them. And that may lead to arguments and strife later on in their lives when they grow older.


Here’s the uncomfortable part: what example are YOU setting? Are you gulping down junk food yourself? Or can you say you set your children an admirable example in your food choices, attitudes and discipline? And again, are YOU the argumentative one?


For the relative I mentioned earlier, her parents were quite disciplined in avoiding junk food, but they were sometimes harsh and abrasive. That example was a hard one for her to shake off, and other people suffer for it. Including me…


Conclusion:


This is not a typical worship ministry post from me, I know. But it will be useful to those of us who are still single (so we know what to look out for when we are dating) and married with children (so we teach our children right). So do share it with people you think would appreciate it. Thanks!

Prosperity - The Challenge

This passage has been on my heart recently.

Psalm 118:22-26 (NKJV) – The stone which the builders rejected
has become the chief cornerstone.
This was the LORD’s doing; It is marvelous in our eyes.
This is the day the LORD has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.
Save now, I pray, O LORD; O LORD, I pray, send now prosperity.
Blessed is he who comes in the name of the LORD!
We have blessed you from the house of the LORD.

The Hebrew word for prosperity in this passage is Tsalach (Strongs #06743). It has a wide range of meaning, including to advance, prosper, to make successful and profitable. In fact, the NIV translates verse 25 as “grant us success”. In this passage we see that the Scripture exhorts us to pray to God for prosperity and success in our undertakings.

In my own Christian life I have swung between extremes. Sometimes I have been the typical Word-of-Faith person, declaring by faith success in everything. Sometimes I have been more passive, just getting along with my activities and trusting God to prosper whatever he chose to. This isn’t wrong, by the way, we see this kind of attitude displayed in Ecclesiastes 11:6.

But this season, I’ve gone back to plain old asking. God, prosper the work of my hands, and grant me success! Driving this consistent prayer are two realizations:

1) We cannot afford to NOT prosper

When can you afford to not prosper? I cannot imagine. If you are a parent, prosperity means raising your children well. If you are a pastor, prosperity means taking good care of the congregation God has entrusted to your care. If you are a doctor, prosperity means your patients get better, not worse. If you are an employee, prosperity means you succeed at the tasks entrusted to you. If you are a worship minister, prosperity means you led the people into a powerful and life-changing encounter with the God of the universe, instead of wasting the time and the opportunity.

So when can you afford not to prosper? If your life is meaningfully occupied, you have no room in your life for not prospering!

2) We are called to prosper

New Testament believers are called to a priestly ministry…

1 Peter 2:9 (NKJV) - But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.

… and the priestly tribe, Levi, had a special calling to prosperity and success. We see that from the blessing Moses spoke over Levi.
If we take this prayer and apply it to our New Testament priesthood, it tells us that we are to pray that our skills (work, music or others) be blessed (successful) and that our works are pleasing to the LORD. We are called to prosper, but we have the obligation to seek God for it.

Deuteronomy 33:11 (NIV) – “Bless all his skills, O LORD, and be pleased with the work of his hands. Smite the loins of those who rise up against him; strike his foes till they rise no more.”

And how will we know if we have it?

Consider the example of Joseph in Genesis 39.

Genesis 39:2-5 (NIV) - The LORD was with Joseph and he prospered, and he lived in the house of his Egyptian master. When his master saw that the LORD was with him and that the LORD gave him success in everything he did, Joseph found favor in his eyes and became his attendant. Potiphar put him in charge of his household, and he entrusted to his care everything he owned. From the time he put him in charge of his household and of all that he owned, the LORD blessed the household of the Egyptian because of Joseph. The blessing of the LORD was on everything Potiphar had, both in the house and in the field.

In the above passage, both “prospered” and “success” are the same Hebrew word, Tsalach, again. God’s prosperity leads to blessings with tangible evidence in our work, ministry and family. If we are truly walking in the prosperity of God, the people of the world can tell. It’s as obvious to them as it was to Potiphar in Joseph’s time.

Are you feeling uncomfortable yet? I am. I know that my life isn’t anywhere near that standard yet. And if God wants me to prosper in all to which I set my hand, and there is a spiritual calling upon my life for success, then it’s MY responsibility if it’s not happening. It’s MY responsibility to seek God for wisdom and direction, and then to take action as he directs.

And that is why praying for success is so important. Praying means an active communication and communion with God. When I pray, rather than just speak the success over my life or let God prosper whichever area he chooses to, I am putting myself in a position and frame of mind to hear God on the areas of my life he wants me to work on, to see the results he wants me to have.

Conclusion:

Of course there is a lot more to Biblical prosperity than just asking God for it. There is the meditation on the Word of God (Joshua 1:8, Psalm 1:3), the presence of God (Genesis 39:2), seeking the LORD (2 Chronicles 26:5) and other areas I probably haven’t realized yet. But I share this with you first to invite you to join me on this journey. Let’s grow in wisdom and understanding in the prosperity God desires for us, shall we?

Behind The Pastor's Back

As you probably know, I serve at a few churches during the week. Just yesterday, as I was running errands, I met someone who regularly attends one of those services I serve at. It was an interesting conversation, because he basically wanted me to change my style of playing.

Him: "the way you play when Pastor leads the people in prayer after preaching, very stagnant. No flow. You must flow…"

Under other circumstances I would have asked him what he meant by flow. After all, it could refer to a musical flow (which I know I have) or a spiritual flow (which I believe I have). However, I felt there was no need to find out more, because I wasn’t going to change my style of playing.

Me: "I'm playing the way Pastor wants me to play. He told me to play this way, so that is how I am going to play."

Him: "I've known Pastor for a long time already. And I've been playing for 40 years. I went to Berklee (a famous college for contemporary and jazz music). You cannot play like that, you must flow…"

By now I suspected that he meant to play more spontaneously, to use Pastor's exhortation time as an opportunity to display whatever musical chops I have. Whatever he meant didn't really matter, because I already had instructions from the Pastor. And I'm not going to change stuff like that without checking with the Pastor first.

But why would I need to check with the Pastor anyway? He's got a lot on his plate, and he already has the habit of telling me whatever he wanted me to know. Bugging him about trivia like that is implying his instructions weren't clear enough, or that he didn't know what he was doing. No thanks!

So I took the easy way out.

Me: "Since you say you have known Pastor for some time, how about YOU talk to him about it? I'll just do what he tells me…"

Him: "Cannot, he's not a musician so he won't know. You must change it yourself."

Err, wait a minute. He's not a musician, but he has been in ministry even longer than I have. Am I to believe that during all that time, having ministered in many different churches around the world, he hasn't come across different styles of music and he doesn't know what type works best for him?

He could see I was not convinced.

Him: "Do you know (mega-church A) and (mega-church B)? I trained their musicians. You think I can only play one instrument? I can play more than one instrument! When I tell the chief musician (of the church I am serving at) to flow, he does it. Even the other guy, who played for the service when you were not there, flows better than you…"

I haven't listened to the worship team from mega-church B, but I did know that mega-church A had a team of immature musicians, who were professional only in the sense that they were being paid, not in terms of their musicality. Those musicians tended to overplay and get in each other's way, and overall the sound would be too cluttered to let the congregation sing their hearts out. So the congregation would spend most of the worship time standing there and watching the show up on the stage.

You can guess that I was less than impressed by his name dropping. I wanted to tell him "So it's YOUR fault that band is so lousy? No wonder…" but I knew God wouldn't approve of me being THAT direct. So I switched back to my one and only argument.

Me: "OK, so if Pastor thinks the other guy is better, then he can tell me to play like him. So far, Pastor hasn't told me to play like him, so…"

Him: "They can flow. Why can't you? No wonder your playing is so stagnant."

Me:"I've played other ways before, and Pastor has told me he wants it this way, so I am going to play it this way."

Him: "He's not a musician, he won't know. You must change, you must flow, then he will come and tell you that you are correct."

OK, this was going too far. One problem that has plagued many charismatic churches – some people think they hear from God better than the pastor does, and they don't want to discuss things with the pastor first. They deliberately choose to ignore or disobey the pastor's instructions on a specific matter. Those people then expect God to vindicate their disobedience by blessing them with obviously supernatural fruit, so the pastor has to swallow his pride and admit they were right all along.   

Hear this from me – no good will ever come out of doing this. Either get the agreement of your church pastor, submit to his instructions or leave to find another church. By this time I already realized that this person was NOT worth listening to. He may have music knowledge, but his understanding of the things of God was very lacking.

So I brought up the only topic that seemed to bug him, the pastor.

Me: "How about this? How about YOU play, then we let Pastor decide?"

He didn't like that, so he changed the topic.

Him: "Why, when you play, you don't play there and there (indicating the higher and lower parts of the keyboard), you only play here (indicating the middle)? I might as well chop off the top and bottom parts!"

God is my witness, he was THAT inane, thinking that playing solo piano accompaniment for worship was to be done the same way as playing for some show at Berklee. If other Berklee grads are like him, Berklee ought to get me to teach Musicianship 101. The fellow went back to his mantra of the day.

Him: "You must flow!"

Me: "You can flow?"

Him: "Of course!"

Me: "OK, then you play and show Pastor. We let him decide, OK?"

I guess he really had no answer, so he started getting personal.

Him: "I can flow, but can you follow it or not? Your playing is like sleeping! You ought to humble yourself. Other people can follow what I tell them, why not you?"

Me: "OK, then you play and we let Pastor decide, OK?"

By this time I guess he had enough. So he walked off. I wasn't too smart yesterday morning, it took me so long to figure out how to drive him away – keeping mentioning the Pastor! It was like showing a cross to a vampire, it might take a while but it will work in the end. Now I know what to say to him the next time we meet at the service…

The Point Is…

As you can tell from my previous posts, I can be very dogmatic. When I have the authority to tell musicians what to do, I fully expect them to follow my instructions. I don't want them changing things behind my back or without checking with me first.

And because I believe in treating people the same way I want to be treated (Matt 7:12), this is also how I follow instructions from my leaders as well. Don't expect me to try out suggestions and ideas from other people without checking with my church leaders first.

If you find yourself in the same place I was, with someone trying his or her best to get you to disobey clear instructions from your church leader or pastor, you may also find it helpful to do what I did – suggest that THEY themselves go discuss with the pastor or leader themselves. If they are sincere and have nothing to hide, they would be more than happy to.

But if the suggestion only seems to frustrate them into insulting you or arguing with you, you know they have an agenda and something to hide. Don't let yourself be manipulated by such people, OK?

Be blessed!