Crisis and Loss – What is your reflex action?

I hate to sound negative, but here is a harsh truth: sooner or later we will face loss, crisis or grief.

Whether losing a loved one through death, being forsaken by the person who promised to marry you or even the loss of a job position, it is only a matter of time before crisis hit us. The exact problem may differ, but the emotional upheaval, the shock, fear, anger and aching sense of loss that hits us will be the same.

When that happens, we will not be at our emotional and mental best. We will most likely find our emotions running away with us, if not at the moment then some time later.

1 Samuel 30:1-2 (NKJV) - Now it happened, when David and his men came to Ziklag, on the third day, that the Amalekites had invaded the South and Ziklag, attacked Ziklag and burned it with fire, and had taken captive the women and those who were there, from small to great; they did not kill anyone, but carried them away and went their way.

This was the crisis David faced. We must remember that David had no guarantee his wives and children were safe. He didn’t find their corpses at the ruins at Ziklag, but that meant nothing in an era when human life was cheap. He could only hope his family was safe. His men had no such hope, but gave in to despair immediately.

1 Samuel 30:3-6 (NKJV)- So David and his men came to the city, and there it was, burned with fire; and their wives, their sons, and their daughters had been taken captive. Then David and the people who were with him lifted up their voices and wept, until they had no more power to weep… Now David was greatly distressed, for the people spoke of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and his daughters. But David strengthened himself in the Lord his God.

At first, David reacted as any one of us would, he wept until he had no more strength to weep. But after that he strengthened himself in the Lord his God. Notice that this was NOT an automatic thing. David had to make the decision to strengthen himself in the Lord. Other translations say “David encouraged himself in the Lord”. He did not wait for God to come and zap him out of his grief. At that exact moment David HAD to take the initiative, to make the first move in approaching God.

This is NOT what I see from other people going through crisis or grief. At the most I see them grieving, but not going on from there to encourage themselves in the Lord or seeking him. Does God owe it to us to blast all the negative emotions out of us without any serious action on our part? I don’t think so!

When the crisis or loss hits, what we do will be the result of all the preparation we have put in during the peaceful seasons, when we seek God in prayer and the Scriptures. Whether we will seek God properly when the storms of life hit depends a lot on if we seek him before the storms. Whether our minds and emotions will react well to the trials depend a lot on how much we let the Scriptures renew our minds before the trials come.

Matthew 7:24-25 (NKJV) - "Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock.”

Let’s look at some people who reacted well to the storms.

Job 1:20-21 (NKJV) - Then Job arose, tore his robe, and shaved his head; and he fell to the ground and worshiped. And he said: "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return there. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord."

Job had just received news that he had lost ALL his wealth and ALL his children. And yet his first reaction was worship. Some Word-of-Faith people (like me) are uncomfortable when Job said “The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away”, but we all can agree with what he said next: “Blessed be the name of the Lord”!

I am not saying that just because I am a worship leader. I have seen in many lives that if people keep seeking the LORD even during the storms, they come out from the storms sooner, faster and better. Worship is necessary for restoration and wholeness to take place. Job’s reflex action put him smack on the path of restoration and wholeness again. Things would get worse before they get better, but at least he was moving in the right direction!

2 Samuel 12:15-16, 19-20 (NIV 84) - After Nathan had gone home, the LORD struck the child that Uriah's wife had borne to David, and he became ill. David pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and went into his house and spent the nights lying on the ground… David noticed that his servants were whispering among themselves and he realized the child was dead. "Is the child dead?" he asked. "Yes," they replied, "he is dead." Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the LORD and worshiped. Then he went to his own house, and at his request they served him food, and he ate.

This was just after David was confronted about his adultery with Bathsheba. God already decreed that the baby born to them would die, but David entreated the LORD for mercy. When his supplications were fruitless and the child died, David also reacted with worship. And God showed his mercy by setting his heart upon the next child from David and Bathsheba. We know that child as Solomon, but God called him Jedidiah, “beloved of the LORD”.

Seeking the LORD, even after a grief or loss we don’t understand, is always the best thing to do!

Negative Example

Matthew 26:36-38, 40-41 (NKJV) - Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and said to the disciples, “Sit here while I go and pray over there.” And He took with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and He began to be sorrowful and deeply distressed. Then He said to them, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me.” … Then He came to the disciples and found them sleeping, and said to Peter, “What! Could you not watch with Me one hour? Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

This account in Scripture haunted me ever since I first read it as a new Christian. We are caught off guard by crisis and loss almost all the time. But this time Peter and the two brothers were warned by Jesus in advance AND told to pray. And they could not.

I suspect that during all that time Jesus was physically present, they were counting on Jesus to seek God for them. They were depending on him to hear God, relay God’s instructions to them and fix the mess whenever they fumbled. Jesus had told them of their relationship with God, the Father in heaven, but they were lazy in their prayer lives. And when push came to shove and Jesus asked them to pray just that one hour, they could not. They did not have the spiritual stamina for it.

How about us? Do we count on having a prayerful husband/wife or a pastor or small group leader, and have them do all the praying for us? I don’t want to sound alarmist or negative, but if even Peter and the two brothers, who walked physically with Jesus during his earthly ministry, could not get away with that, how can we make it without a proper prayer life of our own?

Just One Hour?

Jesus’ words, “Could you not watch with Me one hour?” also suggests to me that when a crisis or trial comes, one hour seeking God is what we need. We don’t need to spend the whole night in prayerful vigil (though that would be even better). Just one hour spent seeking God, crying out to him (not just sobbing away by ourselves), encouraging ourselves in the LORD (commanding our souls to remember God’s goodness) and giving thanks to him for all his goodness in our lives.

2 Chronicles 20:21-22 (NIV) - After consulting the people, Jehoshaphat appointed men to sing to the LORD and to praise him for the splendour of his holiness as they went out at the head of the army, saying: ‘Give thanks to the LORD, for his love endures forever.’ As they began to sing and praise, the LORD set ambushes against the men of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir who were invading Judah, and they were defeated.

But it takes training and discipline. Don’t expect that you can have a wimpy prayer life and suddenly be able to pray for one hour the next time a crisis hits. We need extended stretches of time spent seeking the LORD (one hour?), not just a whispered prayer here and there during TV commercials or while waiting for the next train to arrive. We have to spend enough time in the Scriptures to renew our minds and emotions, to establish our hearts and minds in the ways of God. This won’t happen just by reading Christian books, watching sermon videos on Youtube, scanning through Christian posts on Facebook or getting some preacher who moves in signs and wonders to pray for you. If the last one would work, wouldn’t Jesus have already done that for Peter and the two brothers?

What Next?

If you know that your prayer life has been weak and you want to strengthen it, or if you are already facing trials and you KNOW that how you are handling it badly, get help. Find people you can be accountable to, and report your prayer life to them, even if you didn’t pray.

You can also join me at my Facebook Bible reading group, https://www.facebook.com/groups/approved.workmen/ , follow along with the readings from Psalms and the prayers I pray for my pastors. When you read the Psalms aloud, as I do, it is like seeds of prayer you are planting into your own heart. And over time they will help you bear a harvest of a strong and vibrant prayer life. Use the prayers I pray for my pastors to pray for yourself and your pastors. Over time you will not only grow in your prayer life, you will find your spiritual maturity in other areas growing too.

May the LORD find us faithful and fruitful in prayer this year!

Behind The Pastor's Back

As you probably know, I serve at a few churches during the week. Just yesterday, as I was running errands, I met someone who regularly attends one of those services I serve at. It was an interesting conversation, because he basically wanted me to change my style of playing.

Him: "the way you play when Pastor leads the people in prayer after preaching, very stagnant. No flow. You must flow…"

Under other circumstances I would have asked him what he meant by flow. After all, it could refer to a musical flow (which I know I have) or a spiritual flow (which I believe I have). However, I felt there was no need to find out more, because I wasn’t going to change my style of playing.

Me: "I'm playing the way Pastor wants me to play. He told me to play this way, so that is how I am going to play."

Him: "I've known Pastor for a long time already. And I've been playing for 40 years. I went to Berklee (a famous college for contemporary and jazz music). You cannot play like that, you must flow…"

By now I suspected that he meant to play more spontaneously, to use Pastor's exhortation time as an opportunity to display whatever musical chops I have. Whatever he meant didn't really matter, because I already had instructions from the Pastor. And I'm not going to change stuff like that without checking with the Pastor first.

But why would I need to check with the Pastor anyway? He's got a lot on his plate, and he already has the habit of telling me whatever he wanted me to know. Bugging him about trivia like that is implying his instructions weren't clear enough, or that he didn't know what he was doing. No thanks!

So I took the easy way out.

Me: "Since you say you have known Pastor for some time, how about YOU talk to him about it? I'll just do what he tells me…"

Him: "Cannot, he's not a musician so he won't know. You must change it yourself."

Err, wait a minute. He's not a musician, but he has been in ministry even longer than I have. Am I to believe that during all that time, having ministered in many different churches around the world, he hasn't come across different styles of music and he doesn't know what type works best for him?

He could see I was not convinced.

Him: "Do you know (mega-church A) and (mega-church B)? I trained their musicians. You think I can only play one instrument? I can play more than one instrument! When I tell the chief musician (of the church I am serving at) to flow, he does it. Even the other guy, who played for the service when you were not there, flows better than you…"

I haven't listened to the worship team from mega-church B, but I did know that mega-church A had a team of immature musicians, who were professional only in the sense that they were being paid, not in terms of their musicality. Those musicians tended to overplay and get in each other's way, and overall the sound would be too cluttered to let the congregation sing their hearts out. So the congregation would spend most of the worship time standing there and watching the show up on the stage.

You can guess that I was less than impressed by his name dropping. I wanted to tell him "So it's YOUR fault that band is so lousy? No wonder…" but I knew God wouldn't approve of me being THAT direct. So I switched back to my one and only argument.

Me: "OK, so if Pastor thinks the other guy is better, then he can tell me to play like him. So far, Pastor hasn't told me to play like him, so…"

Him: "They can flow. Why can't you? No wonder your playing is so stagnant."

Me:"I've played other ways before, and Pastor has told me he wants it this way, so I am going to play it this way."

Him: "He's not a musician, he won't know. You must change, you must flow, then he will come and tell you that you are correct."

OK, this was going too far. One problem that has plagued many charismatic churches – some people think they hear from God better than the pastor does, and they don't want to discuss things with the pastor first. They deliberately choose to ignore or disobey the pastor's instructions on a specific matter. Those people then expect God to vindicate their disobedience by blessing them with obviously supernatural fruit, so the pastor has to swallow his pride and admit they were right all along.   

Hear this from me – no good will ever come out of doing this. Either get the agreement of your church pastor, submit to his instructions or leave to find another church. By this time I already realized that this person was NOT worth listening to. He may have music knowledge, but his understanding of the things of God was very lacking.

So I brought up the only topic that seemed to bug him, the pastor.

Me: "How about this? How about YOU play, then we let Pastor decide?"

He didn't like that, so he changed the topic.

Him: "Why, when you play, you don't play there and there (indicating the higher and lower parts of the keyboard), you only play here (indicating the middle)? I might as well chop off the top and bottom parts!"

God is my witness, he was THAT inane, thinking that playing solo piano accompaniment for worship was to be done the same way as playing for some show at Berklee. If other Berklee grads are like him, Berklee ought to get me to teach Musicianship 101. The fellow went back to his mantra of the day.

Him: "You must flow!"

Me: "You can flow?"

Him: "Of course!"

Me: "OK, then you play and show Pastor. We let him decide, OK?"

I guess he really had no answer, so he started getting personal.

Him: "I can flow, but can you follow it or not? Your playing is like sleeping! You ought to humble yourself. Other people can follow what I tell them, why not you?"

Me: "OK, then you play and we let Pastor decide, OK?"

By this time I guess he had enough. So he walked off. I wasn't too smart yesterday morning, it took me so long to figure out how to drive him away – keeping mentioning the Pastor! It was like showing a cross to a vampire, it might take a while but it will work in the end. Now I know what to say to him the next time we meet at the service…

The Point Is…

As you can tell from my previous posts, I can be very dogmatic. When I have the authority to tell musicians what to do, I fully expect them to follow my instructions. I don't want them changing things behind my back or without checking with me first.

And because I believe in treating people the same way I want to be treated (Matt 7:12), this is also how I follow instructions from my leaders as well. Don't expect me to try out suggestions and ideas from other people without checking with my church leaders first.

If you find yourself in the same place I was, with someone trying his or her best to get you to disobey clear instructions from your church leader or pastor, you may also find it helpful to do what I did – suggest that THEY themselves go discuss with the pastor or leader themselves. If they are sincere and have nothing to hide, they would be more than happy to.

But if the suggestion only seems to frustrate them into insulting you or arguing with you, you know they have an agenda and something to hide. Don't let yourself be manipulated by such people, OK?

Be blessed!

You Gotta Sing!

"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." (Matthew 7:12, NIV)

Those of you who know me longer know that I am driven by dissatisfaction.I can only tolerate staring a problem in the face for how long before I end up compelled to do something about it.

Even in my emails about the drums, guitar and the keyboard teaching that I am doing, you can tell that I get involved with a particular field only if I believe that there are no viable alternatives to what I offer, or there are sufficient problems with what else is available. I rant a lot.

So I'm gonna rant about another topic, vitally important for worship musicians to understand.

You gotta sing!
As I said in my guitar course email, too often we have worship courses created by musicians with musicians in mind. They play Christian music for Christian gatherings and teach others to do the same. The unspoken emphasis is on good music, not on what works for worship.

I remember a conversation I had with one such person. Aw man, he was talented. If you think I'm good, you should have seen him, in raw music skill he had me choking in the dust.

The conversation went something like this:

Him: "Why don't we do THIS chord here instead of that one?"

JJ: "because it clashes with what the worshippers are singing."

Him: "But it sounds richer harmonically."

JJ: "Yes, but it clashes with what the worshippers are singing."

Him: "But it's musically more interesting."

JJ: "Yes, but it clashes with what the worshippers are singing."

Him: "The chord you want here is so conventional and boring. Everyone does that chord."

JJ: "Yes, but it fits in with what the worshippers are singing."

You can guess how the rest of the conversation went. In the end I gave up, and spent my time praying that nobody I taught would ever look at the chord sheet and ask "JJ, why is THIS chord here? Wouldn't it clash with the singing?" I probably would have burst an artery.

God is merciful. Enough said.
Now that you are in the habit of listening, take things a step further and sing, to see if what you play fits with what the worshippers are singing.

Because that's what we are counting on worship musicians to do. In the years before we started to understand music and how to play for worship, we assumed that the musicians would choose chords based on what would support our worship of God, not what tickled their ears musically.

"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."

Since this is what we wanted musicians to do, this is what we ought to do ourselves. Please, guys, before you get seduced by the Dark Side of the Force, please remember that serving the cell group or congregation is the reason why we minister as worship musicians. Decide everything,
from the key you use for the song to how hard you whack the hi-hat cymbal, based on what enhances the worship for the people of God.

"Test everything, hold fast to what is good…" (1 Thess 5:21)

And the way to really check if what we want to play supports the worshippers' singing is to sing. You wouldn't believe how many musical problems would have been solved if the musicians took the effort to sing along with what they wanted to play in the first place, to see if it fits.

In worship I'd rather you play music that bores you stiff than music that distracts the people in any way.

Now, before those of you who haven't heard me play jump to conclusions and think that I am one of those anti-skill advocates in the worship arena, some of my more advanced students (Dynamic Devotions) have seen me spend ONE HOUR explaining the chord variations to "I Worship You, Almighty God" that fit into the singing.

And I wouldn't have discovered all of them if not for me singing and listening to both the singing and the chords I was playing.

Think about it. If it takes one hour to explain the variations that can arise from "I Worship You, Almighty God", that means that the chord variations do have depth. They effectively add fresh color to the same song and yet do not distract from the worship.

So take the time to sing and listen to what comes out. For those of you who are actively taking lessons from me, you warm my heart when you show me the stuff you discover by yourself by testing your music choices by singing along with what you play.

More than anything else, this joy of seeing you grow is what drives me on in my teaching efforts.

Be blessed!