Caught Me Offguard

(Personal blog post)

Just had the weirdest occurrence. I was at a nearby shopping centre, walking to the bus stop, when suddenly this guy smoking at one corner stopped me & offered me a lift home.

I guess I couldn't hide my bafflement, so he told me my block number & said he stayed at the same block as me. So that's how I got a lift home & a new friend at the same time!

On the way back he told me he noticed me one day at the lift at my floor when my dad passed Jessiah a picture (one of those old, large ones) and he then passed it to me. He couldn't remember what I told my son, (neither could I) but he said it showed I was a good dad, at least better than the one he had...

And that made quite an impression on him as he had just become a dad himself. His baby is 4 months old!

Personally, my first inner reaction was cynicism. “I wonder what would he have thought of me if he caught me yelling at Jessiah?” Later on, however, it dawned on me that people notice me even when I am too caught up with my own world (happens very often).  Sometimes what seems like no big deal to us may actually leave a favorable impression on onlookers.

And of course, since we don’t always see things the way God does, maybe God is really impressed or very touched by what we do also? Just a thought…

From Father to Son

A short time back, I found an old CD of an audio recording of Bible verses I did for Jess. In those days Jess was just an infant, and I wanted him to hear over and over again the Word of God. So I just got down to it, did a few simple home-made recordings and kept having that CD played when I wasn't around to read the Bible to him.

Well, Jess grew and I started spending more time with him to read to him. And other things came along, and I misplaced my final copy of those recordings. But I finally found my last CD, put the tracks on my phone, started listening to it every day ever since, and found that it built MY faith too!

So here is one of the tracks, From Father to Son. It's a short (less than 7 minutes) recording of selected verses from Proverbs. You can just download it as a gift from here.

Yup, it's a gift. You don't have to buy my e-book, make a special donation, refer customers to me or whatever. Just go to this page and download it. And let your Christian friends know of it too, so they can get it and be blessed as well. It's especially great for parents with sons that they want to raise as godly children, but I sincerely believe anyone will be blessed if they get it and keep listening to it everyday for a couple of weeks.

Remember, it's a home-made recording. And when I say home-made, I really mean home-made. The sound quality isn't going to be fantastic, the music isn't going to inspiring, my voice isn't going to be EQ-ed properly and all that. But it blessed Jessiah and I, so I share it with you also.

If it blesses you too, do let me know. Leave a comment or something like that on this blog page. Thanks!

What Upset Jessiah

Jessiah was totally pissed off last night.

After I got home from teaching, he showed me this flyer that said:

"Enhancing your learning journey with iPad!"

"With the convenience of having study notes in an iPad, learning capabilities and potential are maximized, thus benefitting the student."

"You are entitled to a FREE iPad2 if you are:

• Primary, Secondary, Junior College students
• Valid Student Pass"

And of course, in a very much smaller font, in one unobtrusive corner of the page, "Terms and Conditions apply"

Being an innocent 9-year-old, he of course thought they were really giving away iPads just like that. I flipped over to the other side of the flyer showed him how it was a marketing ploy to get walk-ins for a tuition centre. I also took him through the figures, what it would look like if the centre gave iPads to EVERY student that signed up. And if it didn't make much sense for them to give iPads to EVERY student that they signed up, would they give iPads to those who did not sign up for lessons there?

As I said, Jessiah was very upset. He thought the centre was lying on the flyer, trying to cheat innocent little 9-year-olds like him. I definitely don't want him to always assume the worst of other people, so I told him that maybe the people who wrote this were just lousy communicators and didn't mean to create misunderstanding.

I mean, look at their choice of words. The grammar is quite shaky and the words were bigger than they needed to be (capabilities, potential, maximized – typically corporate-speak. God knows, I detest corporate-speak).

But certainly, if any of my children needed tuition for their school work, that centre would be the LAST place I send my kids to. Either they were being untruthful or they are lousy communicators. And if they can't even communicate well on a flyer, what makes me think they can teach my kids anything properly?

Why was Jessiah so upset?

You see, in his mind the iPad was already his. He already planned the first download, (Angry Birds of course) and had already planned how to get me to pay for the rest of the games he wanted. He already had visions of quietly sitting one corner for hours every day, smashing through the various levels with aplomb, and of course scoring even higher than me.

So the truth ruined all his dreams and plans!

Out in the Business World

For us who are out in the business world, sometimes there are people who try to pull a fast one over us during negotiations. Let's say we agree to a deal (business or job, for example) that had A, B and C. And at the last minute, they try to change point C just after you and they have already agreed to the entire deal.

If at that time you have already started thinking the deal or the job is yours, started planning how to spend the commission or salary, or even worse, started borrowing money expecting to repay the loan with the money you were certain you were going to get, you'll be in deep trouble. Why? Because you would be emotionally attached to making the deal or job work, even though they just changed point C on you. You'll feel pressurized to give in on point C so that the deal would work. At that time, you will find it difficult to step back from your emotions, the turmoil and fear of loss, and ask yourself if the deal or job is still worth it even without point C.

That is what those negotiators are counting on when they make those last minute changes. That's what they are hoping for!

Two very important precautions:

1) Remember, it's not yours until it's yours.

Until everything is signed and the cheque is in your hand (or the money already in your bank account), the deal isn't through yet. Until that point, something can still go wrong, so don't get emotionally attached to the deal or job yet.

2) Always have options.

If you are stuck, and think that this deal or job is ONLY way to go, you will feel pressured to accepting it anyway, even if point C was VERY important to you. That is the reason why you need clear options. If this deal doesn't work, exactly what will you do next to get another? What is the next job offer you have waiting for you?

When you have options, such negotiators are unable to pull a fast one over you with these cheap tactics.

The best example of having options is Billy Graham Ministries, As I said before, they pay their suppliers promptly (sometimes on the very day). Because of that they have many suppliers offering them the best deals. Those who try to cheat them get away with it ONCE. And they never get a foot at the door again, because of the hordes of other suppliers waiting for a chance.

Always seek to create more definite options for yourself. This will allow you to step back when there are any last minute hiccups.

Are ALL last minute changes attempts to cheat you?

Of course not!

Just keep an eye open during the negotiations. For example, if point C is important to you and the other side agreed to it quickly (too easily???), don't be surprised if they try to change point C later. People with a lot of experience in using this tactic may try to throw in some other hiccup first (maybe some last minute delay) then try to change point C after that. And without offering anything else in exchange.

How will you respond to this? That's between you and God. Will you decide the deal is still worth it? Will you create a better counter-offer? Go the extra mile? Walk away and decide there's no point doing business with people who cannot be trusted? That's up to you to decide. But in order to decide with clarity and wisdom, you need to be emotionally calm and know what your back-up options are. That way such negotiators will not be able to take advantage of you.

Think about this for a while, as I try to figure out how to teach such things to my sons without turning them into total cynics. Be blessed!

Temple Trip with Jessiah

(Personal Blog Post) 
 

Jessiah and I went to a Taoist temple recently.

It was not for a cultural or enrichment thing, it was because he won an award for his academic performance in school. The award was presented at the temple, and so we had to go down to that temple to receive the award.

Jessiah was obviously uncomfortable as we got nearer to the temple. You must understand that it was to him a canopy of unfamiliar sounds (chanting, gongs and droning music) and smells (the incense from the joss sticks). I, on the other hand, because I was raised in a non-Christian family, was much more familiar with all these elements. In fact, they brought me back to nostalgia lane, back to a time when I was so much more innocent and optimistic (and spoiled rotten by a doting grandmother)…

I am still not used to having a camera with me everywhere I go, so I didn't take many pictures of the place. But here is a picture of the tent where the awards ceremony was held. You can see how many other people were there as well. It was quite a large ceremony.

So as I sat down and waited for the ceremony to begin, I realized that I didn't want Jessiah to grow up culturally stunted. In his day to day life, he is exposed to Western culture almost all the time. I want him to be culturally-savvy, able to move confidently and wisely in different cultural contexts. Because I would accompany my parents to various temples (Buddhist and Taoist) when I was a young kid, I am still comfortable with going into temples. I am not freaking out, convinced that I will get demon-possessed and will lose my anointing if I stay there too long. No, I am relaxed, in the moment, enjoying the experience and looking to see what lessons the LORD has in store for me that day.

 

This means that I have to make a conscientious effort to bring him into different cultural situations and teaching him how to manage himself well there. That is something that I have neglected (to be honest) and I realize that I'll have to try to fix that this year. How? Hmmm… let me get back to you on that!

Side note: here is something I found VERY amusing...

I never knew that Taoist temples had money changers too! I wonder if Taoists ever felt that a particular temple had a corrupted money system in place and wished for someone to go charging in, whip in hand and start overturning the money changers' tables!