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Wednesday, December 31, 2008

My Christmas Gift 2008

About two weeks ago, what I dreaded the most finally happened.

"Daddy, I prayed to God! And God didn't give me what I want! It doesn't work!"

This was from my elder son. He was old enough to express himself, young enough to not be concerned about being politically correct or worry about offending his daddy. And his frustration and disappointment was obvious. What was I to do next?

My first temptation was to just blast at him. "And what's the problem, kid? There are things I've been praying for, and I've been waiting for them for more than 10 years. What's the matter with you? Why are you acting like a six-year old?"

"Err, JJ, because he IS a six-year old?"

My next temptation was to try to lower his expectations. "You know son, the important thing is that God will give us what we need, not necessarily what we want. Some things are just selfish desires. You should just want what's important for the kingdom of God."

Problem is, if I ever told him that, he'd start wondering about all the blank cheque verses I've been speaking to him. You know what I am talking about, those verses that delight people from the Word-of-Faith movement and stumble everyone else. Verses like "everything he does shall prosper" from Psalm 1, "… he shall give you the desires of your heart" from Psalm 37, and all that.

It was this type of rationalization, combined with the unspoken idea that you had to be poor to be spiritual, that caused James Ray (author of the book Harmonic Wealth) to forsake his evangelical Protestant upbringing to become a prominent New-Ager in the self-improvement industry (albeit one with very useful ideas)

God knows, I don't ever want that to happen to my kid.

The third temptation was for me to just dig out my wallet and just BUY the darned toy for him myself. And tell him Jesus gave me the money (which isn't a lie, OK?). But somehow that didn’t feel right. I guess I didn't want him to have the habit of assuming that Daddy's always going to be the channel through whom God will provide.

So what was I supposed to do? In the end I explained to him what Hebrews 6 said about imitating those who through faith and patience inherit the promises. And told him that the Bible says that those who don't do that are called lazy.

"So son, do you want to be called a lazy boy?"

"No, daddy!"

"You've already prayed, so wait, OK?"

"OK, daddy!"

Crisis averted for now. *Whew!*

On Christmas day, my mum called to tell me that one of my cousins bought Christmas gifts for my two boys and told me to go collect the gifts from her. And when my boys unwrapped their gifts, there waiting for my elder boy was what my son was praying and asking God for.

He looked at the gift, obviously delighted. Then he paused to think, then said, "Daddy, this is actually better than the one I prayed to Jesus for! Thank you, Jesus!"

One of the most scary things as a parent is not just that through my behavior I am shaping his mental perception of God the Father (in other words, my kid may grow up with a totally warped view of God and therefore live a totally messed-up life, no pressure, right?), it's also that every time I teach him about trusting God, I am risking God not coming through for him.

If he doesn't get the toy he wants, it's not a big matter in the light of eternity. But what if God doesn't come through for him when he's praying for big things?

"in you I trust, O my God. Do not let me be put to shame… " (Psalm 25:2, NIV)

My fears look really bad now that I've put them into words, don't they? But it doesn't make them any less real. And living in denial doesn't work.

For years I've had my own faith crashes, praying to God for some things, believing that he wants me to have them, and fallen flat on my face. It's easy at that time to just slap a plaster over a gunshot wound, force a causal grin unto my face and say "I'm sure God has something better for me…" and use that to cover up my disappointment, hurt and anger.

And I realized one thing: all those harsh emotions, ugly as they may be by themselves, are yet just another cover-up. They are a cover-up for fear, the fear that God will let me down. Again. I mean, if I totally trusted God to take care of me, it would be easy to expect that he'll take care of my sons too, right? My fear of God letting my sons down is a manifestation of my fear that I'll trust God for something and have a faith crash again.

All this was like a hidden tangle of knots within my heart. And it all became untangled and unraveled in a moment when God gave my son the toys he wanted for Christmas.

Why am I sharing this with you?

Couple of reasons. First, when people share with me about deep things God does in their lives, they make me more aware about God's working in my life too. I believe that as I share this with you, it may make you aware of similar areas you need God's healing touch in your own life. And then you can start seeking God for it.

Second, because, as I said in one of my really early blogposts, I don't share teaching only. I share my life too, just as Paul did.

“… we were well pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God, but also our own lives…” (1 Thessalonians 2:8, NKJV)

I am on loads of email lists and I do get tired of people who email me only when there's something to sell me. One guy in particular comes to mind, I read his emails just to see how many ways he can try to pitch me his one product. That's all he's got, and that's all he ever emails about. So I totally have no idea what this guy is like as a person. Sad, right?

Yup, so this is what God gave me for Christmas 2008. At the end of the year he exposed this darkness in my life, this area that was unknowingly affecting my spiritual walk, and brought his light and healing.

Just wanted to share this with you. Be blessed!

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Do Your Christmas Shopping Here!

Hi, everyone!

I've just set up a page on my site where you can check out the books I firmly believe will be a blessing to you in your personal walk with Christ and in your worship ministry. Go check it out here:

http://www.invisibleworshipmusician.com/resourcemain.htm

All purchases made there are handled by Amazon, the most experienced and reputable e-commerce site around, so you can be sure that your transactions will be secure.

And order quickly, so that you can have everything delivered to you in time for Christmas!

The URL is: http://www.invisibleworshipmusician.com/resourcemain.htm

Be blessed!